How many people have rows with partner over in laws?

[bloodynoris]

Am so annoyed with Fil that it's caused a massive argument with me and dh. I lost my job on Wednesday and I have spent last few days on Internet/phone trying to arrange interviews from tomorrow onwards as I have had no car since Thursday and was told it would be back today. I now have a blood test tomorrow ( booked 4 weeks in advance as my doctors is useless) which I can't get to cause of no car and 2 job interviews tomorrow which I can't get to. Dh phoned garage around 2.30 today to ask what time we can pick the car up to be told that fil has been round every day since Thursday checking work and he told them this morning that I was in no rush to get the car back so don't worry about getting someone in to help him fix it (the bloke was going to pay someone for an afternoons work to help him) and that it would be fine to pick up on Wednesday afternoon! Without asking me. without my blood results my gp can't issue anymore medication and the nearest appointment they have is 19th of May at 11.30 so even if I did manage to go without meds for nearly 4 weeks if I do manage to get a job how can I ask within the first couple of weeks that I need to start later or leave to go and have a blood test. Personally I can't see me getting through that period though without ending up in hospital. This has now caused a massive argument with my dh as his family can do no wrong. I don't understand why the gargage didn't call me to discuss this rather then taking fil word for it. I can't believe dh is just willing to say I don't know what your going to do tomorrow and that dad was just being helpful.

Wow, the garage people called your FIL? Is he paying for their service????

They probably did not like taking orders from a woman. Is there a supervisor you can complain?

I had the same issue with a home service at a house own my In laws. Except they are far away, so these home service wanted to take my order and me signing papers ( taking orders from a renter!) instead of listening to the actual owner/person who is paying. It caused a lot of frustration and some wedge.

Goes to show never do business with family.

Hold on, who is the customer there?? You or your FIL?

Tbh, I would have taken a taxi to get to the surgery and the interviews and told DH to find said cash, incl by asking his father to pay as he was to arrange for the car to be ready later on.
The way your FIL is involved with your family life is .

Why yiour DH so adamant to support your FIl stance? Does he really think that it's ok for your FIl to give suchb excuse as 'well you need to loose weight anyway' and 'wo a car, there is no point looking for a job anyway'. Does he really think it's an acceptable way to talk to you??

I'm so annoyed that they called him! No one is paying as it is a warranty job as only had the car 7 weeks. I will be compliaing to the people who the warranty is going through as this is they approved garage in the area. It's most probably cause I'm more demanding they told me the car would be back on Monday and think they know I would not find that acceptable so called Fil instead. Fil must have gone round there and have them his number and told them to deal with him. Apparently he has been going round every day. It's caused massive argument between me and my husband and when I have my car back I will will be going round to in laws and having it out with them. All my husband and his family are saying its only a car/you can cope a few days/don't understand the problem and they are just winding me up more. I'm so angry all I want to do is cry!

For some reason flyingscotsman my husband won't have a bad word said against his family. His always put them before me and I've sort of got used to it but this time its making my blood boil. I could list example after example of the things they have done and my husband has took they side. My biggest regret was not leaving him when I realised what his family was like. This will out me but this is what his family are like. At our wedding reception his mother went and bought champagne but only for his side of the family and hid it from my family so they could not have any. She bought 10 bottles!

You may be more demanding, but if your FIL was just as demanding, they would take his order because he is a man.

My dad is a car mechanic....I watched him over the years, mechanics like to hang out as guys.and fixing car....this is a silly thing to say but I am from the U.S. so don't be surprised, ....is like a male ego thing. Probably why you FIL hang out other there so much and why they taking order from him thinking he know more about cars than you.

It is probably some sexist thing going on here.

Your mil bought champagne only for her family?? She might actually be a bigger bitch than my mil!

Take your husbands car 'he can cope without a car for a couple of days' I so so would.

Your husband sounds really horrible actually. His behaviour towards you indicates to his prenatal they can do what they want.

Yep just for her family lem the whole family think they are the better than everyone else. Drives me mad.

Well anyway I've just gone mental with the garage. Finally told me my car was ready but when we got there he told that the engine management light was on and some other light but not to worry as its nothing but as he was fixing my car he broke something which connects the axel and the steering wheel but it's ok you can drive with just one clip with it in and I can fix it for you next Wednesday as the part will be tomorrow afternoon then I'm away till Tuesday. So I let him have it he was pretty stumped though when I said why did was you phoning fil it's my f..ing car. We left it at that he is going to pay someone to stay there till its fixed tomorrow. Then went round in laws and I had a big argument with fil. So now I'm the bad person. But on a positive note had a really successful interview and starting on the 9th of May.

That's good news

congrats! both for the job AND letting them all have it

Well done on the job!
With everything else that's a massive achievement.
And a massive well done for standing up for yourself with the garage and your FIL.
Fuck 'im. He shouldn't be interfering anyway.
Keep that up, they'll soon learn you are no walk over!
Good luck with the new job!

Congrats on the job.

My mil does site same with dh' scar he will drop it off at the garage to get a quote for a job and she will run him to work by late afternoon if his not heard anything he will ring the garage to see what the quote it to find mil has rang up and authorised the work and then lands us with massive bills sometimes. She did it last mot rather than just getting it to a pass like we wanted and then we where going to do the advisories she authorised it all and we got hit with a £500 bill.

I think you handled it pretty calmly! Well done you so far! I'd have completely lost my s**t!

My FI and I don't really argue about his parents, just vent about how ridiculous and rude they are. When we moved in together he had to tell FMIL to back off because anytime they were round she wanted to go into our bedroom and 'have a look' or rearrange the bloody kitchen.
Fast-forward to planning the wedding and they have bee so unbelievably rude to us that they have completely disgraced themselves to us and the rest of our families…have the apologised and admitted that they upset us and were out of order? Absolutely not.

Stick to your guns and tell your FIL where to go, tell your DH that too if he isn't willing to stick up for you when his behaviour is like this.