What does he mean?

[Whatdoesthismean87]

Me and dh haven't been getting on great since finding out he was talking to other women, he says if I want to leave him that's fine? Is he just ashamed of what he's done that he realises how it must be for me or does he just not care about me at all?

I wouldn't trust his word that he isn't carrying on with that kind of thing still to this day, people can be very good at covering their tracks to stop their partner finding out. I wouldn't trust him at all personally.

When you said "it was a long time ago" I thought you meant about 5 years!

So 9 months ago he was talking to two other women and though you haven't said so explicitly, reading between the lines of not just friendly, I think the messages were sexually explicit.

You brushed it under the carpet 9 months ago.

What this means is that he doesn't think you will leave him - because he didn't actually have sex (that you know of) because you have kids, probably because you think you love the sleaze.

What this means is:

• he doesn't want to split up because he's too lazy to do so and likes anyway to have his cake and eat it. But actually all casual telling you to end it is a good way to keep you in your place. He has shown you that there's no point in bothering him with the hurt his betrayal has caused because if you do, he'll just tell you to end it.

I suspect if you did end it, he'd get a bit of a shock and change his mind. Don't fall for that though.

. I don't post on this board often but I agree with the post above. I am also reading between lines and assuming messages were sexually explicit. You have a young family. He is a spineless scumbag. He will break you and I really think for your own sanity you should tell him to leave. This mess is of his own making, it's all his fault.

We can't know what he means because there's not a lot to go on but my take on this is:

He means he doesn't think he's done anything wrong and will not change, that he's not prepared to discuss it and your only options are to either accept it or leave. No declarations of love so you'll be in a loveless relationship of convenience.

To put things in perspective, I'd expect to be able to talk about it, apologies and a decision about how to improve your future to be the bare minimum for a chance of a successful future together. If not you're just giving him the green light to continue as he always has.

Piss poor and gutless behaviour. He wants to absolve himself of responsibility.