How do i know if I really want a baby?

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I had an abortion last year which was very traumatic. I had found out not long before that I had fertility issues and was in the process of leaving my abusive exh.

More recently, I am starting to struggle every day with my thoughts.

I am constantly thinking about the potential baby and I feel terrible.

I feel like all I can do now is have a baby. But i am not in a good position to, but I feel so distraught.

How do I know if I really do want one or if its just the trauma?

I have friends who have felt the same way after having an abortion. I am sorry that things have been difficult for you.

I think the question you need to ask is not do I want a baby but more importantly am I able to give a child everything it needs?

It sounds like you are really struggling with your thoughts and what you have gone through is playing heavily on your mind.
I think you would probably find it beneficial to visit your GP and tell him/her about how you are feeling and maybe request some counselling, so you can share your worries/thoughts and discuss what has happened in confidence with a professional who can suggest ways you can help yourself deal with all the emotions and feelings.