someone bitch slap me into reality

[NeckingtheNightNurse]

Ok I'm in a position where I wish I could be indifferent about my ex. He has done some dreadful things I know I can't forgive him for but for some reason I'm still hung up on him ? It's on my mind constantly and i just want to move on which is the sensible thing to do. I've resorted to coming on here rather than call or text him.

Good. Hold onto that. This is entirely up to you. If you go back it is because you have chosen that. Choose better for yourself. Be done with him. Youve been there, done that, you know how it goes with him. There is nothing to be gained by going there again. You know that.

It's good that you don't want to go to NY with him.
But it shouldn't be because it would be 'ruined' as it was booked with her.
It should be because he's a total arsehole that you don't waste your time with.

You KNOW this is bad for you. You may need therapy to help you stop emotionally responding to his shit, but you don't need it to make a decision to cut him out of your life.

Tell him not to contact you. Block him. Delete anything that gets through, unanswered. Bin any flowers. Find a garage to fix your car. Etc. Make it your rule: no thinking about, just no contact. One day you won't need the rule, but for now follow it.

Decide now that you're having nothing more to do with him. Sort out why you did in the past with therapy when you can. But til then, follow your rule!

If you create a number of threads on the same topic it looks as if you're continuing to post because you only want to hear what you want to hear and, more particularly, if you change the title(s) and omit parts of the original post in your subsequent OPs

To my mind, creating multiple posts on the same topic within a short space of time does a disservice to those who take time to respond here but may not be aware of the backstory, and you also do yourself a disservice as you miss out on the opportunity to create a thread that will chart your progress.and enable you to see how far you've come, or not as the case may be, on your personal journey to a mentally and emotionally better place,

Ok thankyou goddess ? I created another thread because I didn't get many replies at the time and thought I'd Try posting something at a different time. I wasn't aware of rules on this matter. Why are you investigating my threads anyway ? Not sure how me posting two threads about a situation in struggling with makes you feel such a need to respond so negatively and yes u am taking the info on board and it has helped me get into a better frame of mind

It's hardly investigating!
I posted on both, and read the second feeling like I was having déjà vu! When both threads are on the first page, you just notice it, no investigation needed!
goddess makes good points and politely too - don't me defensive. Your reply actually seems a bit aggressive too, but perhaps it is just because words don't always convey emotion accurately.

I didn't set out to "investigate" your threads, Nurse, and it was much as Cabrinha has said in that reading this thread reminded me of one I'd read and responded to recently and, having made something of a tit of myself through becoming confused by the resurrection of two ancient, as in 1 year and 4 years ago, threads by the same OP the other night, I searched your name in order to avoid making another faux pas.

This can be a very fast moving board, particularly on Friday evenings and through weekends, and the reason why you didn't garner more responses to the thread you created late last Friday afternoon is that you didn't come back to it and it slipped down the charts, so to speak, and was relegated to the backpages which are not immediately visible.

Running two or more threads with different titles concurrently, one containing the full story and the others consisting of edited/sanitised versions, can lead to responders posting two completely different responses on the same topic. While it's not necessary for there to be a consensus of opinion on any one thead, those who take the time to respond here can feel somewhat aggrieved foolish if they've posted replies they wouldn't have made if they'd been aware of the full/ backstory.

Some replies may seem harsh to you, but anyone who posts on a public forum runs the risk of finding that certain responses are not to their liking. The posts that you find most challenging may, on further reflection, be the ones that are in fact most helpful to you, but if not you're best advised to pass over those without comment and ponder on the ones that have the most resonance for you. This is not in any way a criticism of you but, based on my observation of various boards on this site, it is the most expedient way of defusing a bunfight dealing with the occasionally fractious exchanges that occur from time to time - behind every virtual response here lies a human being with all of the complexity that entails and, as the written word can so easily be misinterpreted, it's a wonder that we can agree on anything

In any event, I'm pleased to see you're in a better frame of mind and hope you will keep posting here so that you can become a ballbreaker more resolute in ending your unhealthy fixation on a man who isn't worthy of you.