Now where do i start ? god im crap at this typing malarky,im not very good at explaining myself so bear with me please.
I have a 'friend'whom i have known for 16 years and i always imagined that we would be friends for life .Now she has always been a bit rude and thoughtless at times and i have never challenged her on this,just put up with it for the sake of the friendship.But i have finally began to think that she really doesn't care a jot for me as this last year she has not bothered with me even though she and i have both had babies in this time.I imagined that her starting a family would draw us closer but it has been quite the oposite.I appreciate that she is busy now she has a child but i have 2 and i work .She is also aware that 2006 was, with the exception of the birth of dd2 , a bad year for me healthwise. For a long ,long time any phonecalls ,texts,emails etc had been instigated by me and she would just reply.So i finally got fed up of always being the caller and never the called iykwim? so i stopped and since then she has not bothered other than birthday cards and replying to a few texts i have sent out of desperation.I have seen her once in a year and even then there was an atmosphere.
I value my friends very much and think that it is very sad to give up on such a long standing friendship for no apparent reason.I am deeply hurt by her behaviour and to be honest, agonising over why she has done this is making my health worse.I haven't confronted her over this because i dont feel strong enough and i would write a letter but i dont want to spill my heart out for her to just feel she has the upper hand and ignore me again.Which would make me feel more worthless and alone than usual.To my knowledge i have not done or said anything wrong so im completely at a loss as to what ive done to derserve this .
It is her birthday next month and i need to decide whether i should just admit defeat and cut all ties as im tired of this and not send a card or force myself to send one.I want to feel that i have done the right thing for 'me'as im emotionally quite fragile.I dont want to regret my desision in a years time.
Could someone please give me an unbiased opinion please.
Thankyou for bothering to read,sorry it is so long.