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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

am i normal?

8 replies

WSM123 · 18/04/2016 00:43

been with my partner for 2 years, and its great except he doesn't think we have enough sex. We both work full time and get up before 6 every morning and have hectic jobs. This means I'm usually too tired to get up to much during the week but weekends are more relaxing and more likely to result in the naked tango.
he thinks its not enough and wants it at least one night as well as every weekend.
he seems to think I just don't find him attractive (despite my assurance otherwise). Am I wrong? is weekly really not enough?

OP posts:
Kr1stina · 18/04/2016 00:56

There's no such thing as normal . It just depends on what each couple want.

Original poster
WSM123 · 18/04/2016 00:59

fair call, I guess I should have said am I within the realms of "average" surely weekly isn't depriving him?

OP posts:
Kr1stina · 18/04/2016 01:03

It doesn't matter what I think is average , he's entitled to want sex daily and you are entitled to want it weekly . Either one or both of you is prepared to compromise or it's not going to work, is it?

Original poster
WSM123 · 18/04/2016 01:33

I understand what you are saying, and I agree. I guess my problems are, firstly more often would be perfectly agreeable to me if he doesn't wait until I'm almost asleep to initiate it then get grumpy when I don't respond (sometimes I haven't even noticed until hes complained) and secondly he will always blame me if it doesn't happen, eg I started things at one stage and then he opted out then tried to tell me I wasn't really into it. I cant win damned if I do and damned if I don't.

OP posts:
picklepie1 · 18/04/2016 01:40

If you don't want to have sex daily, then he's not going to get it daily. Once a week is plenty Grin

Original poster
WSM123 · 18/04/2016 01:53

Thanks pickle. Trouble is he gets shity and wont talk to me. I have asked what he considers reasonable and he gets defensive and says "once a week is fuck all" but wont offer a reasonable compromise. when we got together he used to complain about the opposite of this with his ex, she would want it every day and he didn't so I cant understand why hes being so horrible to me now

OP posts:
Kr1stina · 18/04/2016 07:17

I think that being horrible to your partner is not a good way to get more sex

Is the rest of your relationship really " great " ?

Costacoffeeplease · 18/04/2016 07:38

It sounds like he just likes messing with your head, he doesn't sound very nice tbh

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