A rant if I may? Exhausted and a little anoyed

[1DAD2KIDS]

Ok so here it is. Me and my ex wife own a house in the town were she lives. I live 90 miles away. I have the kids full time. I think I am what is call the residential parent. Anyway about 9 months ago the Tennants left the house in a wrecked state. My ex wife had run off with another man around that time. So I have been a bit slow into action as I had a lot of emotional stuff going on, plus the kids, plus full time work.

Anyway even though she lives 3 mins drive from the house it became obvious that she had done little to fix the house. Even though for months she has been supposed to be sorting it. I am paying the mortgage on it (and mine and the kids house too) and an empty house is both expensive and a liability. We hopefully want to sell it but no way will it get a desent price in the state its in. Its on the market and every viewer has said too much work. So I have loaned 5 grand and started on getting it sorted. It's alot of work. Nothing in the house that doesn't need fixing, replacing or decorating.

So here the focus of the rant. Not only am I working full time, raising the kids I am also travelling 90 miles up the road to work on the house every free minute. I spent my week off work in the school holiday working on it and since Friday (back to my job on wed). My mum's is kindly watching the kids.
Today I text her to see if she could help me move the fridge. She come hung over and telling me she had a good night out. I have been working my fucking balls of since 7am Friday morning. Sleeping on a crappy camp bed in the middle of a recked kitchen since friday. She has been out drinking!
My ex is alway so keen to remind me half the equity in the house is hers. If half of its is hers why can't she lift a finger and help? She live 3 mins away and I live 2 hours away. I also have to raise the kids and hold a responsible job.

It just feels bang out of order that she owns half owns the house (even though she has never paid anything to it) but has done nearly fuck all to sort it. I have enough on my plate with the kids and work. The least she could do is help out since she is nearly next door. I feel so knacked, angry and I am missing the kids. Normally we would go out for the day on a Sunday. I am working so hard to sort something that belongs to us both and all she can do is party. Why can't she get some work done in her free time. Its not like she has kids to look after, after work. I would love some free time. It's vary rare with work and the kids. I have started OLD and its going well but at the moment I can't see me ever getting the time to actually meet.

She gets to have fun and time for herself. I get sorting shit out as always.

Sorry her hung over was the final straw for me today. Glad that is off my chest. I just want a break.

It's all stuff I am weighing up. I would rather keep renting the house and make a little extra monthly profit after tax than sell it and it cost me money. Especially know in 20 years time I will have something of value for the kids. Once the work is complete it should be worth about the value of the remaining mortgage plus a bit. So if we sell there should be some money for her and enough for me to break even. She of course needs a little something. What she has asked for is half of any profit from the house based on her idea of it value. To be honest the lack of help is no surprise as she never really contributed much. Either way if I give her some cash and a clean break I don't have to bother with her any more and can finally be free. Then I can as normal sort the rest out my self. The main thing is I protect a stable home and finances for me and the kids.

Honestly? Sounds to me like it would be better for your life in general to sell the house for whatever it is worth after you've done it up, get rid of it as a burden around your neck, and your ex-wife with it.

It's going to be a rental 90 miles away from your life as a single dad to young kids. You can't ever guarantee what tenants you'll get and how long they'll stay. Every time someone moves on you will resent it - I have been there and done it and when the rent's coming in no problem, but nevertheless the extra management of it is a PITA and a weight on your life you don't need. The 'profit' doesn't sound like it will be worth it.

Invest your time in your DC. The house will always remind you of your ex. BTL is not a great investment necessarily in all circumstances.

NoSquirrels makes a very good point. The house is too far away and in an area that will not necessarily increase in desirability.

I'm a big fan of finding my own tenants and only renting a house in tip top condition (which also attracts more rent and removes you from the bottom of the market to hopefully attract a higher standard of tenant.

The only problems I ever had was with tenants from the estate agent.

Now the money comes in regular as clockwork, they treat the houses as their own and only call if they have a problem. I them call the relevant tradesperson and pay via bank transfer. Not a lot of hassle at all if you turn down prospective tenants for ones who are older and with as many people on the agreement as you can plus guarantors. Works for me.

Sorry no practical advice but just a note to say that you are doing a fantastic job balancing all this and your kids are lucky to have you. What a lazy cow.

Thank you. I have good teachers. My mum and dad were great. We were poor when I was little and we lost everything including the house. My I was 16 my dad died. My mum became a widow and an awesome single parent. My older brother stepped up became the man of the house, put bread on the table and helped with everthing. He was an awesome big brother. So its fair to say I had good role models. Maybe it's partly why deep down I am reluctant to sell the house. I have worked hard to be in the comfortable position I am now. I know the value of hard work. I see an oppertunity in that house to really help the kids out when they are older. Plus once I have some equity in it I see it as a safety net. I know how easy it is to lose everything through things out of your control. It really is better than a savings account.

So I I sell I will have nothing to show for year of hard work but a slightly easier life. If I keep one day I will have something to help the kids start there own life that has been massively subsided by the tenants. But this will add a bit more work. Like joysmum points out there are good ones out there. I have rented it out for years without many problems. I would be unlucky to gets such bad tenants again. The house is a 5 bed and we had young migrant workers. The letting agent was a cowboy. The house is getting back to a very good standard. If I get the tenants right all should be better. No more groups of young men. A large family maybe. I know there is a big market for large houses for DSS tenants.

You're providing just as good of an example for your kids and they will talk about you in the same terms one day when they're old enough to understand the sacrifices you have made. Keep on keeping on!