Would you/should I?

[lostandsoscared]

'D'P left DC and me 8 weeks ago. Circumstances surrounding the whole thing were pretty grim, won't go into detail as I've posted other threads before.

I'm really struggling. I have so much anger. Its worrying me how angry I am. It's occurred to me that a large part of why I am so angry is that he has absolutely no idea of the devastation he has caused. His behaviour since the split has been pretty cruel, insensitive at best.

I'm on the verge of writing him a letter/email explaining the mess he has left behind and why his actions are so dreadful and the effect they have had on me and DC.

On the few occasions I have had to see him, I have ended up getting so upset and anxious, I haven't said any of the things that really need saying. I've also come away being so disappointed that all he's seen is this raging mess when I actually have so many important things to say.

So, is this a good idea, or will I regret it? Has anyone done this before? I'm hoping it will get things off my chest so I can begin to let go of some of this anger. Its not healthy.

It's so shit.

Surround yourself with people who love and support you, vent on here and remember when they're your dc will know who was always there for them at all times, without you having to say that or score points. Hint: Not him.

when they're older, sorry

Yeahsure describes pretty accurately my experience when I tried to explain the effect of his departure on our children.

I understand the over-analysis of how your actions will be seen by him, as well.

I was referring to Yeah's earlier post, but her one immediately above is true, too.

lovesPGTipsMonkey says IME men (in particular) act cold and unresponsive when they feel guilty.

This is true ime too.

YeahSure, I completely agree with you. I'm not a step mum but my x did remarry and luckily I don't care because I left him and he was abusive. Even so, getting over that was painful and took years. I do read the threads sometimes and think, wow, give the xw five fucking minutes to get over the PAIN before she has to staple-gun on her game face and act like she doesn't care that somebody else got her life. Some people just don't realise that it takes more than a few months to get over something really painful.