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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

weddings....

8 replies

allthreerolledintoone · 09/01/2007 15:39

im not sure if this is in the right thread but basically dp and i want to get married at easter hes in the forces so thats the only time he can get leave. Because we are no longer on speaking terms with his mum and dad i want a really small intimate wedding. I know that my mum will be diasppointed but i know that dps parents prob will not attend which would stand out more if we had the big traditional wedding.To be honest i feel embaressed by dps family because if they do attend they will cause an amosphere and if they dont attend it will look odd so i really dont feel like inviting my close family and friends to witness that.I really do feel like runnig off and it just being the two of us but i feel that i really should give me my parents the choice of attending. Did anyone else have a low key wedding and do you have any suggestions?

OP posts:
satine · 09/01/2007 15:43

Don't deprive your parents of such an important event just because of your DP's parents. If you do invite everyone and have a big event, and his parents don't come, they will be the only people to look bad. But if you think they will turn up and make a scene, then that's a different thing.
What a pain for you, at what should be such a happy time.

caffeinequeen · 09/01/2007 15:44

Hello, sorry to hear that you've fallen out so badly with you ILs. There are lots of people here who've eloped so bumping for you. Congrats btw!

allthreerolledintoone · 09/01/2007 15:49

I just feel that the most important people at your wedding sre your family and if they cant be happy for you then its just very sad. Dp mother is a clone of pauline fowler very controlling.I just wondered what we could do to include my family and maybe close mutual friends.

OP posts:
Tortington · 09/01/2007 15:56

3 people each
you get to whose - WHOEVER you want

you chose your parents and one close friend

he choses 3 close friends

all go away somewhere and get married - doesnt have to be abroad btw. big hotels do it now.

that way in the future when his parents have made friends and mention it you can ALWAYS say " well your son had a choice of who he wanted to invite - its not my fault he didnt invite you - its yours"

in other words the decision is left to your other haldf and it wont come back to bite you in the arse in 5 years, 10 years or at someones funeral.

allthreerolledintoone · 09/01/2007 19:31

Thats a good idea custardo i like that. I admit i dont rally want them there and with the way they are i know dh doesnt really either its just the fact they are his parents. Any more ideas on what we can do?

OP posts:
golfbravo · 09/01/2007 19:37

my brother & sil did that but it was 4 each. Brother invited my other brother & wife and 2 friends.

They paid for everyone to go to Switzerland for the wedding

No prob to me or our parents at all.

hotpot · 09/01/2007 19:44

My ILs disapproved of me from day one still makes me laugh now, but 10 years on I get on incredibly well with my MIL and just accept that she is married to FIL!!!

We had small wedding only 33 guests, basically parents, my sisters were bridesmaids and my best mate was my chief - all wanted, sister in law was bridesmaid (only compromise) and the rest of our guests were our closest friends.

We had soooo many problems with the ILs that my parents actually advised us to run off but we didn't want to deprive my parents of the day or our friends so we didn't. Did everything the way we wanted and have no regrets, had the best day ever.

Didn't have the traditional top table, had my parents to my side and my DHs parents to his side. You could just have your parents flanking you both with your bridesmaid and best man. I think these days anything goes.

Don't invite ILs if it will spoil your day, you will regret it. Horrid incident where my sister in law invited her unstable brother in law who spat in a girls face then started a huge bar brawl, (they are now divorced) but to this day it is remembered as a lovely day "a shame about the police having to attend"

Not sugessting yours would end up like that but don't let anything spoil your (fingers crossed) once in a lifetime wedding.

Bucketsofdynomite · 10/01/2007 09:06

Great idea Custardo. Book some rooms in a big seasidey hotel with views so even if it's raining it'll still be cool to look at and things to do.
I'm so jealous, wish I could get married again. I'd go to Cornwall or Llandudno or Scarborough for proper old faded seaside glamour.

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