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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

What do you think...? DH text msgs

44 replies

ItMightbeTheEnd · 15/04/2016 11:11

My husband called someone who works for him a pet name by text.... Not just any name it's sexual (xxxxxx tits).

I've been wary of this woman, but assumed was just my envy of her youth/blonde/single/no kid status - also wary as she had an affair with another of their colleagues (married man).

Saw a text conversation between them. All professional, then one random picture msg which DH couldn't receive and requested via whatsapp. If she did send it, he's deleted now it as no history of whatasapp from her.
Later they had a text conv re work. His last reply was cheers.... 'xxxx tits'.

Alarm bells or banter? As he is her boss I reckon it's inappropriate from a professional level but obviously I am not thinking professional....

OP posts:

ElderlyKoreanLady · 15/04/2016 13:29

I'd keep quiet and snoop. You definitely don't have enough to know it's not just banter. It's extremely inappropriate at the very least...he's opening himself up to sexual harassment claims even if there's nothing going on.

Ciggaretteandsmirnoff · 15/04/2016 14:40

I'd be keen to see if he deletes these messages. If he has he is guilty

ImperialBlether · 15/04/2016 14:43

I don't think I could ever be suited to a man who called a woman 'cheese tits.'

0phelia · 15/04/2016 15:13

Texting at the weekend is only professional if it's to say you need to be off work on the Monday.

Banter based texting and using weird affectionate Nick Names does ring alarm bells.

Yep... More snooping required!

verite · 15/04/2016 15:14

I must admit I thought very dodgy until I found out the missing word was "cheese". It's still dodgy but now in a very weird way.

Superwitchy · 15/04/2016 18:11

The messages don't sound terribly incriminating, but I think your intuition is telling you there's more going on. Is there any other out of the ordinary behaviour?

LosingTheWillToSkate · 15/04/2016 23:06

It all depends on context.

One of my male friends calls me sugar tits. It's an Alan Partridge thing for us.

AyeAmarok · 15/04/2016 23:14

When I've heard someone use the term "cheese tits" it meant cheese strong tits, as in long and not full So not a complimentary them, but who knows.

AyeAmarok · 15/04/2016 23:17

STRING!! Not strong. Sorry.

DYAC

Baconyum · 15/04/2016 23:24

When you consider that AT BEST he's leaving himself open to a charge ofnsexual harassment and losing his job...what an arse!

Wait n watch...but not for too long.

I too learnt the hard way to trust my gut, my ex started off with mentionitis...they're now married.

Beachlovingirl · 15/04/2016 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrictlyMumDancing · 15/04/2016 23:38

I would have assumed that cheese tits was an autocorrect issue myself, but given you're already a bit worried then maybe yes, keep an eye on it.

summerdreams · 15/04/2016 23:40

The fact that he requested the pic on watsapp but the history is clear is the biggest alarm bell to me I bet she did send on watsapp but you can't allways delete one msg on watsapp on my old phone you couldn't so you would have to clear the history. Sorry your going through this op

summerdreams · 15/04/2016 23:41

One minute the missing word was cheese tits?

Salfordlass · 15/04/2016 23:42

Is your hubby David Brent?
Can't help but Get images of Ricky gervais flashing through my mind whilst reading this. He does sound like a knob im afraid but u must've known his sense of humour when u married him!

I'd go apeshit though..

IreallyKNOWiamright · 16/04/2016 18:25

I'd be wary too esp with her history of affairs.

Original poster

ItMightbeTheEnd · 18/04/2016 09:37

Laughing at the David Brent comments...

So perhaps I have been overly paranoid. No more texts, can see the last one still there but nothing since. No photos in his Websense history/album. There was one collage pic of her in his fb album, but there are various other random ones in there of people's kids etc, seems any pics he looks at might be saved there...

The tone of the last msg does suggest they are familiar with each other. Will be mindful and watchful....

OP posts:

strangerjo · 19/04/2016 11:10

Cheese tits sounds more like matey banter than sexual banter. I wouldn't be worried about that from a relationship perspective but it's utterly unprofessional. If I were you and concerned about an affair, I'd ask him directly if anything was going on and see how he responds and his reaction. I'd snoop as well, of course.

UmbongoUnchained · 19/04/2016 11:16

Cheese tits just sounds like an u fortunate nickname after a possible embarrassing incident? Maybe involving quavers?
Hie army it's would have me worried at all. My old boss actually used to call me tits McGee from anchorman. It's was just friendly banter between us. I don't think I'll say what I used to call him!!

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