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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Injunction for emotional abuse?

36 replies

unwanted · 09/01/2007 11:53

Has anyone had one? I am going to see a solicitor tomorrow as an alternative to going into a refuge, but so far there has been no physical abuse, only emotional towards me and the children. How likely am I to be granted one to remove him from the house? I've had to call the police twice to him, social services are involved and our health is suffering.
Any experiences anyone?

OP posts:
isolde76 · 11/01/2007 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

essbee · 11/01/2007 18:22

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controlfreaky2 · 11/01/2007 18:34

dont be put off pursuing this owiu.... you've done the hardest part. see it through and good luck!

zookeeper · 11/01/2007 20:09

Hi onlyway, like the name change!

You sound like you're doing fine. I would definitely start divorce proceedings asap - you don't hear of many divorced couples living together. You don't have to wait to start those and it may be that he realises that you are serious and goes voluntarily.

The problem with that, though , is that if you are in the house when he gets the letter from the solicitor you will have to face him.

Have you got a place at the refuge?

It's not easy to make life-changing decisions at the best of times, still less when you are upset and worn out and responsible for children. Try to envisage how you want to be in, say, a years time - happily settled with the children and accountable to noone and focus on that. You sound strong. I think you'll be fine.

messyoldmess · 11/01/2007 20:30

I'm so sorry you didn't receive positive news from your solicitor, OWIU. (love the new name btw!)
I got told the same by my solicitor when H refused to move out. He said that he could not be removed from the house unless there was proof of some kind of physical violence.
I am getting legal aid though.
Have you only been to the one solicitor?
My solicitor is the second one I have seen, as I wasn't very impressed with the first.
You do sound like an amazingly strong lady.
I wish you lots of luck.

Vev · 11/01/2007 22:05

Just want to wish you luck. Hope everything's sorted for you soon. He sounds like a pig of a man - bet you feel like changing the locks when he's out. It's horrid that he wants to stay when he obviously knows you don't want him there - that in itself is a form of controlling abuse on his part. Good luck and hope you're without him soon. Your name change is good.

OnlyWayIsUP · 12/01/2007 11:59

Hi. Just to complicate matters, I believe he has someone else. He spends the whole time texting - he has no mates at all so it can't be a mate, and to start with he jumped and dropped his phone every time I walked in, but now he just carries on regardless. the problem I have now is that I am worried that if I move away, even temporarily, he will move some woman in. I know that sounds far fetched, but bear in mind that while he was still very much married to his first wife, he got engaged to another woman!!! he is unable to leave one relationship unless he has another lined up. BUT...my aim is to move back here once he is out, and if he has had some woman here, touching my stuff and sleeping in my bed I don't think I could. I would feel violated.
As he has completely ignored me and the kids since Sunday night, and I mean not a word, I am keeping my fingers crossed that he will leave himself and I will not have to go. It would certainly make things a lot easier.

OnlyWayIsUP · 12/01/2007 12:09

I should add that at the first sign of trouble I will be calling the police again. he cannot do or say anything to the kids that will hurt them now as I am with them 24/7...he has no jurisdiction over them whatsoever. if the silent treatment was upsetting them then I would be acting now, but it's not...they are happy to be avoiding all contact with him.
I am going to file for divorce as soon s the funding is in place (if I get it), and then the courts will have to make him leave anyway...I believe it's called a 'balance of harm' test? I have got over the upset and am now determined to keep what is rightfully ours. We need to get our lives back on track as soon as is humanly possible, and staying here is the quickes t way to do it...as long as he keeps away from the kids that is. If he doesn't then we'll be off.

OnlyWayIsUP · 12/01/2007 12:13

Oh, and I have just filled out the booking form for a holiday for me and the kids in the summer....JUST me and the kids. Gives us something nice to look forward to

bluejelly · 12/01/2007 12:32

Only just saw this and wanted to add my support. Great you have booked a holiday, keep focussing on life beyond him. You will get out of this dreadful situation, it's just a question of time. Good luck

Pinkchampagne · 12/01/2007 13:58

Good on you for booking the holiday, OWIU!

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