Firstly I'm a long term MN and regular replier to posts don't want to link this to my usual name so using my christmas one.
DH and I have been together 9 years married for 3 with a young DC (under 6mo)
He's 90% a lovely guy. But since having the baby I feel like he may be emotionally abusive but then he makes out like im dramatic?
So eg he is out of the house for long hours for work and has a hobby which can take up quite a few hours in evenings and a full day at weekends. He had said he would give this up when the baby came until the next season started (aug/sept) this never happened he has just continued with the same routine and when I was stressed out from the thought of facing yet another fu day at the weekend with the LO and confronted him as to why he never stuck to his promise he said he just needed the escape and I had to deal with it.
He recently came home drunk from a day with his family and baby was asleep. He went to bed and I could hear baby stirring through the monitor so went up to settle. He was VERY drunk and had said so himself prior to going to bed. He was holding the baby. I offered to take the baby and settle for him to get to bed I did say "as you are drunk" he declined so I went to loo to brush my teeth. When I returned she started to speak me to in an aggressive way, low tone of voice so not to wake baby but swearing and saying how I was completely out of order to try and dictate to him that he can't hold/care for his own child. How dare I say he's drunk etc. I tried to reason with him (impossible with a drunk person I understand) but he then continued to say how "he doesn't know how/why but I've been getting on his tits all day" and also that "I treat him like shit"
I was hysterically upset. Today he's txt to apologise and I replied we will talk later.
This isn't the only example of him flying off the handle being aggressive when drunk.
Oh also I "goad him" into this behaviour. He's never hit me
Any advice?