pil's phone calls

[22ann]

luckily we aren't in undated with lots of these but we do get regular calls every sun & thurs at the same time my dh takes it in turns with pil's calling. i rarely answer the phone when they call as they are difficult to get along with & find it easier to let dh get up and answer it - this has been going on for about a year and half now.
we do see them regularly usually every 3 weeks.
do you think this is the right attitude to have or should i change my ways??
pil are both pushy and overbearing & i prefer to keep some sort of distance between us.

how long do the calls last? twice a week seems a bit clingy if you see them every 3 weeks aswell, but if the calls are brief it's not so bad. Is DP an only child?

My mother used to tell us kids to tell my father's mother she was in the bath every time she rang...although in fairness, she hates her and can only just stand being in the same room as her.

I think I would leave things as they are. Maybe if you wanted you could be extremely daring and ring them at some non-scheduled time for a couple of minutes.

We don't have a scheduled thing, but I tend to let DH speak to FIL - he wants to witter on about golf so it would be hardly the same talking to me.

FGS it's his son - what's wrong with wanting to talk to him?

How would you feel if dh said this about your parents ringing?

I used to speak to my mum several times a week - sometimes more than once a day. Couldn't see her very often because we were 200 miles apart. Really miss the opportunity as she died nearly 3 years ago.

I really don't get what your problem with this. If you don't want to talk to them just don't - although I think it's a bit mean/grudging of you.

Sorry to be so blunt.

my sil rings mil every day. mil speaks to her mum on phone AT LEAST twice a day

dh settles for 1x per week

DH rings his mum once a wek or fortnight, I now talk to PIL on the blower betterthan I did before. and only sees her 1/2 per year but it's his choice to ring etc.

I talk to my mum however every day without fail. and see them once a month at least.

speak to my dad once a day without fail, and see him at least once a week.

MIL - tends to phone once a week/once a fortnight, and DH phones her when I nag him to say he hasnt spoken to her for a while.

We dont get on, but hey, still doesnt mean she hasnt got a right to know how we all are.

I am in almost daily contact with my parents. If they don't call me or I don't call them, the other then calls to find out if there is anything wrong. They often call to see if they can come over to see the boys.

MIL, on the other hand, rarely contacts us and dh rarely contacts her. That's the way they handle their relationship and it's fine by me - although I'd prefer MIL to show more interest in her grandsons rather than only making an effort to see her granddaughter (SIL's dd).

I don't really see your problem as your dh deals with the calls, so you aren't really affected at all.

Just carry on letting your DH answer the 'phone, 22ann. Should you pick up accidently, just be polite and make general health enquiries and then pass the 'phone over to DH. It can be irritating when it seems like the 'phone is ringing all the time. If it does annoy you, just keep your distance.

My DH used to call his mum every single day. She then started calling me every single day when DS was born. It drove me round the twist having the same inane conversation with her every day. I put an end to it after about three months. I don't speak to my mum or my best friends every day. Why on earth would I want to talk to MIL?

Also, my DH does seem like a mummy's boy sometimes when he's always on the 'phone to her, talking about DS's bowel movements or her dog's haircut or the puppies down the road. But that's up to him.

I don't think I would find twice a week irritating. Although I might be amused by the regimented times.

i speak to my dad every monday and friday morning (mum died 5 years ago)and i really enjoy our calls. MIL calls whenever she feels like it (minimum 3 times a week sometimes twice in an evening if she's had a few drinks!)and tbh i don't really mind. At least your PIL's call at the same time every week so you can plan to avoid answering the phone if you want to.

To be honest, I think the amount of contact you have with the PIL's is not that excessive. How does your dh feel? Does he like to see them or does he dread it too? If he gets on with his parents and enjoys seeing/talking to them then there's nothing you can do really.

Should add that my dad calls at regular times because he likes and to an extent needs the routine. He is nearly 80 and over the last few years has increasingly clung to a routine because it is reassuring - perhaps your PIL's are the same?

thanks for your messages, i'll just carry on as i have been then. when pil call/dh call it's usually for about 45 mins, dh gets fed up with them and would like them to call/speak to them just once a week but i don't think he would get away with that!
dh did call them once when he shouldn't off, and mil was quite put out that he had then worried something was wrong.

Are they old or do they just like their routine?