Have I been cheating all this time?

[Blondie94]

Me and dh have deicded to go our separate ways. I'm not upset over this because it was bound to happen sooner or later, we have a beautiful girl of 9 months. But nothing has been going right for around the last year.

We've been together for around 6 years, 3 years ago we had a break and I met a lovely man let's call him Jim for the sake of this thread. We had a few dates and kissed a few times he's covered in tattoos and never realised but he had an initial tattooed on his ring finger I confronted him about it he admitted he has a partner and two kids they are playing happy families. So I called it a day and went our separate ways I got back with my DH. But Jim soon got back in contact, and I was honest with him about me and DH trying to work on things. We have spoken every week for the last 3 years. Met up for coffee On many occasions (just coffee no funny business)

I've told him me an DH are now over and he's confessed he loves me and thinks about me all the time and has popped round for coffee and wants to start dating and all these feeling have flooded in for him.

Have I been cheating on DH all this time because I've secretly been seeing jim without DH knowing??

[Ifailed]

let me get the time-line straight.
2010 you get together with dh
2013 you split up
2013 you meet Jim, kisses and dates
2013 you split up with Jim & get back with dh
2014 weekly meeting Jim
2015 dd conceived and born
2015 weekly meeting Jim
2016 split up from dh

I think the answer is pretty obvious, & I'm wondering why you had your dd with your dh last year?

[curren]

Petrol she was aware she was meeting up with her ex and she was aware she was keeping it secret for her dh. Who she had just got back together with and was meant to be making a go of her marriage with.

The fact that she didn't realise it was an emotional affair, suggests she didn't care enough to consider it.

[PetrolBastard]

You can't accidentally cheat by having coffee with someone you later sleep with after your current relationship ends.

This is one of the most ludicrous contortion of the facts in order to make the OP guilty I've ever seen.

[curren]

No one said she physically cheated

[PetrolBastard]

She unconsciously cheated emotionally by having coffee with someone she later dated?

Christ.

[Buzzardbird]

Why is it important to know? Does it change anything?

[MissBattleaxe]

Yes you are in the wrong. Your marriage never stood a chance against attentive, flattering coffees with Jim who you were attracted to.

[curren]

Petrol is not really that difficult to understand.

She consciously chose to keep meeting her ex behind her husbands back. She consciously entered into to an EA even though she didn't put that label on it.

[heron98]

I don't think it's cheating as such, but the fact you kept your meetings secret from your husband suggests there was more going on under the surface than you cared to admit to.