am i mad?

[mistletoemania]

now 39 want hubby to have reverse vescectomy in hope we will have another baby hopefully a boy wouldn't bother me if another girl just want another baby!!!

didn't want your thread to go unanswered.

Apparently it's very normal to feel like this in your late 30s due to hormonal and social changes.

How does your DH feel about this. Do you know it's very hard to get a vasectomy reversed and it costs a lot of money as it has to be done privately.

and it doesn't always work.

My friend's dad had a reverse vasectomy and they had a son. It does sometimes work. Have you talked to DH about it - is it something you have considered for a long time or just a blip?

Only ask as I have very similar feelings at the moment - but recognise it is due to other factors in my life (DD starting school, work things etc.) but if the 'blip' carries on for another few months will get my IUD taken out.

it often doesn't work. A friend had vasectomy reversed after his first marriage ended and it didn't work and he and his new dw had to have icsi (sp?) to have a baby.

If he's had a vasectomy you both must have been very sure at the time that you didn't want any more children. bear in mind that there will be a waiting list for reversal, it could be costly, then there will a be a period to wait before he will know whether it has worked, then it can take time to conceive - this won't happen tomorrow, it is likely to be a couple of years before you have another baby.

my friends father and second wife wanted children but he had alreday had the snip during his first marriage.

he had a reversal and they now have twins!

We also have a friend who had a vasectomy about 7 years ago. They both decided to try for another child about 2 years ago. He had a reversal done privately and it was unsuccessful.

All I am saying is don't hang all your hopes on this reversal resulting in another child.

As for your original q. No, I don't think you are 'mad', but I do think you need to realise that a reversal is not a guaranteed success.

I had a work colleague whose husband also had an unsuccessful reversal.

BUT, he eventually had something called a testicular bypass, through which a surgeon was able to extract a limited amount of sperm from above where his vas deferens was ligated.

She then conceived through ICSI.

This, however, was very, very costly. They are both wealthy people, but it did set them back quite a bit.

thanks for all your replies. dimpledthighs yes my d/d is starting school sept 07 and my d/h feels broody too. We were very stressed and d/h wanted us to get our life back to normal hence no more kids. We had moved back from abroad. no family help etc.... not that we have now but atleast in same country. now we realise it will never be same again and to be honest it wasn't me pushing him to have snip. anyway, the operation was a disaster for him and he has never really been 100% since. All the jokes he has had them poor fella (very male enviroment at his work). It will be the cost that will put him off. going to phone bupa now and see how much it would cost. we don't have private medical insurance. It is a bit of a lots or red wine suggestion. If it takes 2 years i will be 42 and feel that is quite old.

The thing is that with a vascectomy they say to consider it permanent and not even take a reversal into consideration when you are making the decision whether to have one or not. Found this:

"All studies on results agree that there is a correlation between the chance of a pregnancy and the length of time since the vasectomy - the shorter the interval, the better the outcome. The biggest study on vasectomy reversal showed that if the interval was less than three years, 75 percent of couples achieved a pregnancy, if three to eight years, 50 percent, nine to 14 years, 40 percent and over 14 years post vasectomy, 30 percent of couples achieved a pregnancy. There were over 1,000 couples in the study and the overall pregnancy rate was 52 percent. Repeat vasectomy reversal reversals were less successful with only 40 percent of couples achieving a pregnancy. Other factors that influence success are the use of an operating microscope and whether or not sperm are present in the vas fluid expressed at the time of the operation."

it never crossed my mind to think of a reversal and i cannot believe i am typing this. but the joy of another baby would be wonderful. i think a third one you would just be so laid back as first one all new and daunting. second you feel guilty for not having enough time as you have a toddler looking for your attention now well if and it is a very big if it happened it would be fab. It is 2 years since operation so your info is encouraging. plus we only had to shake hands and i was pregnant so we shall see