Everything he does annoys me

[Alfiemoon1]

Just as the title says really. I can handle it when he's a work but when he's off everything he does or doesnt do annoys me. he thinks it's me maybe it is ??? Latest example he's just gone out with ds to meet his brother to walk the dog and stuffed some cans in his pocket. Is that normal to walk round drinking at 4.30 pm with your 11 year old son. I will be mortified if anyone sees him. Another example trying to get the kids to bed last night it always goes to pot when he's off 9.30 pm he's offering to cook them super noodles they had eaten supper and it was a school night for ds who of course didn't want to get up this morning dh stayed in bed til 10 am. He has the kids on his side I am just a grumpy old nag which I probably am when he's around as he does nothing but annoy me

If he's on vacation what's the harm in going for a nice outdoor walk with a couple of beers? Sounds pleasant to me. And if he seldom sees kids because as main breadwinner he's usually gone, why not ease their routines a bit? Why does it all have to be YOUR way, OP?

You sound unhappy and you can only blame him for so much of it. We all are responsible for how our own lives turn out. Expecting others to change their fundamental persona to suit us is unfair and unrealistic. You've known what he is for a long time.

Do not fall for his promises to change this time around. He never meant those last time, he simply told you what you perhaps wanted to hear. He is simply now dragging you all down with him.

I would seriously consider restarting legal proceedings and especially before your summer holiday. Having travel plans is no good reason to not seek legal or further financial advice. His name can now be taken off the booking and you'd be far better off travelling anyway without him. He certainly would not be able to walk around with cans in his pockets in FL.

Your children are likely all too aware of just how rotten things are at home, what benefit does it bring anyone to live like this for the next few months because of a holiday?. Stringing this out for simply that is no good reason and really benefits no-one.

Maybe seek advice first and find out what your position is in terms of the house and finances before you broach the subject with him. It certainly sounds like you're very unhappy and if you need to leave then there will be a way to do it. I agree with Hellsbellsmelons in terms of getting advice from the CAB. Once you know your position you can formulate an action plan.

Make sure you have the right social and emotional support in place too. It can be easier to focus on the practical things, but you need to keep yourself well and happy too.

Lea maybe I am just a snob then thinking its out of order to be walking round the village swigging from a can of beer mid afternoon It's not something we see round here but that was just an example of one of the things I found annoying.

what's the harm in going for a nice outdoor walk with a couple of beers
Did you read the bit where he has an alcohol problem?

why not ease their routines a bit?
Because they are young. They have school and HE doesn't have to put with trying to get them up to get them there as he's lolling about in bed!

If he's on vacation
Yes he is, so he gets to see them for hours when they are in from school.
Why does he have to make OP's mornings a feckin' misery?

WOW! You need to read between the lines a bit.

Like I said, she's known what he is for many years and yet chose him to sire her offspring and chose to stay when many women would not. So the situation is not 100 percent his fault.

You can't keep castigating people for being who they are if you choose to remain partnered with them.

Just mentioned the hobo incident and he said how about saying thanks for taking your dog and kid out for a walk. My dog my kid???? He is unbelievable at times there was me thinking it was our dog and our children.

It sounds as though he sees you as the maid/nanny. Its not a partnership in the slightest. Its very easy for us all to say leave him but its not as simple for you to actually do it, its never easy to leave someone. Would he actually expect you to leave the house and him stay there?

Yes he sees this as your dog and your kid.

And that is precisely how little he thinks of you all; he thinks you are all there to serve him.

I just can't believe he said it like that. He actually wants me to thank him. He doesn't thank me for walking the dog or looking after the kids. God he doesn't even say thank u if I buy him a Birthday present pfft

That sort of comment would bug the f*cking crap out of me.
Did you come with your responses here when he said that?
If not then why not?
He needs to wake up and smell the coffee.
Good grief he's disrespectful.

No to cut along story short he put a shed up in the garden yesterday and was taking it down I said why and he replied well u are obviously in a mood over it so I said no but I am not happy with u walking round swigging cans of beer mid afternoon to which he said about thanking him for walking my dog and kid I ve left him to it now as ds home from school.

Divorce him. Don't wait any longer, you can still take the kids on holiday this summer.

My sister has booked for us to go to Florida she has paid for the villa and flights as a surprise Christmas present. I have no idea how I am going to afford the park tickets etc which is another thing dh is bugging me with buying beer and crap while I am trying to save up