I occasionally come across threads where a poster is looking to make new friends, so I thought I’d bite the bullet and put myself out there. I’ll probably out myself by doing this, but what’s the worst that can happen?
Long story short(ish):
I have recently turned forty (sigh), and I live about 30 minutes from Norwich (south Norfolk/north Suffolk area) with my partner and our 2 DC, aged nearly 5 and nearly 2.
I am a part-time post-graduate student. I am also a writer (alas, as yet unpublished, but hopefully one day…). Mostly though, I am a mum who spends her days doing the school run, chasing my 21 month old around the house, and looking forward to nap-times and bed-times when I can finally write.
I am sociable, and have a wide range of acquaintances. Although I can be a bit quiet at times, people don’t cross the street to avoid me, and most people seem to like me. I don’t gossip about others, talk about myself incessantly, bombard people with text messages, or tell tales of how woeful my life is (though I must admit, it’d be nice to find a friend that I could share the lows as well as the highs of life with). I am generally a happy, positive, friendly, person, with a GREAT sense of humour.
However, you know what it’s like: it’s difficult to make proper friends out of mum-friends, and I don’t think it’s going to happen for several reasons.
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I am a recovering alcoholic. Not many people know this, and it’s not something I tend to divulge unless I know a person well. I think people must pick up on something though, as I never get invited on boozy nights out anyway (and even if I did, I wouldn’t feel comfortable going, unless the person/people I was going with knew I was in recovery… but I never get to know anybody well enough to tell them… Catch 22).
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When I got sober, I became very cautious about letting people get close to me for a variety of reasons, and have only really made a couple of what I’d consider to be ‘proper’ friends since. I am becoming more defensive and selective as the years go by, which is frustrating for me, because all through my childhood and teenage years, I always had a best friend, and I still think of myself as a ‘best friend’ kind of a person.
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I am a nervous mum. I tend to be a bit of a slave to my kid’s routines, and I find it hard to relax when they’re with me, so it’s sometimes hard for me to have a conversation with other mums when I am out with them, which is a shame, as it’s pretty much the only social life I have these days. But I hardly ever meet anybody who I think might be a potential kindred spirit anyway, so my social life is a bit of a non-starter at the best of times.
Maybe I'm just too selective, but sometimes it feels as if I’ve missed the friendship boat.
I really miss the close female friendships I had in my late teens and early twenties. I had a fab group of girlfriends when I was a student (really, they were the best friends ever), but it fell apart due to my drinking and me generally being a pain.
Then life sort of went downhill for a bit, until I got sober.
This is me now, many years later:
I love reading (when I get the chance). One of my aims in life is to be as well-read as possible, but it’s hard to read the classics when you have ankle-biters, so I keep my goals simple and aim to read one or two ‘classics’ a year, while indulging in trashy chick-lit or parenting blogs the rest of the time (and one day soon, I will start my own, as long as I can think of an interesting theme).
Music-wise, I’m pretty much stuck in the nineties.
I also spend far too much time watching telly, though these days I think I’d probably fare better if my specialist subject on Mastermind was Peppa Pig or Woolly and Tig, instead of The Simpsons, Coronation Street or The X Factor, like it used to be pre-kids (sadly my TV habits are a lot less cultured than my reading habits…).
I also love genealogy. And lipstick. And the Eurovision Song Contest. I am addicted to coffee (it’s my new wine!). But my main love is writing, and it’s the one thing apart from my kids that makes me ecstatically happy.
The friendship section on the other site is very quiet, and so is my MN Local site.
Where are all the Norfolk/Suffolk people hiding?
Is there anybody who lives remotely near me in a similar boat, who thinks I sound alright, who is also looking to make friends?
I’m a bit worried I’ve totally outed myself (hope not) and also that I’ll get no replies. Still, I’ve posted this in Chat, so if I’ve made a fool of myself, it’ll disappear in 3 months!
Well, that’s me in a nutshell. Anybody?