Sorry, this is a complicated one, so you need a bit of background. I'll try to be as brief as I can.
My mother has a severe MH problem (depression + personality disorder) and my father is very weak and bullied by her. They had two kids, me and a slightly younger sibling. Parents raised us in classic golden child/scapegoat way. I've had to rough it since I was in my mid teens, my sibling can do no wrong and has lived at home until mid 30s.
As we have all become older, the golden child/parent thing between sibling and my mother has become more and more an act of exploitation by the golden child of my mother's willingness to help. My mother has become more vulnerable after having a series of life-threatening health problems over the last 15 years. Sibling protests MH issues as a legacy of trauma that happened 20 years ago prevent them from doing laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, and taking on other adult responsibilities. However, they have a socially responsible £35k job, a successful long term relationship, and an active social life.
A while back, it became obvious that my mother's MH and physical wellbeing was suffering quite badly as a result of the workload associated with looking after my adult sibling and associated stress (things like my mother was no longer able to watch what she wanted to watch on TV due to sibling's preferences). I felt that I really had to say something. So I had a brief, gentle exchange with my sibling about this, stating that I felt it was no longer healthy for either party to be cohabiting and that other arrangements really should to be made.
Sibling has cut me off completely since. I am not allowed to know anything about their life. I know for a fact that they have bought a very nice house in the interim (cash, no mortgage - money they saved while living at home), but I am not to be told about this. My family frequently withhold information like this as a way of maximising the hurt that can be caused to others, so while I do feel pained by it, I am used to this kind of behaviour. However, sibling only lives at this house at the weekend, and is still spending the rest of the week at my parents' house, having their washing, cooking, ironing done. So the workload for my mother has barely decreased.
I realise that in most situations, this would seem like a 'choice' but the MH issues that my mother has, and the twisted dynamics of the family more generally, mean it's not that straightforward.
WWYD in my shoes?