Am I his rebound? Plus some red flags?

[cluelessinthecity]

I just need to put my thoughts on paper and hopefully get some advice.

I've been seeing someone for 6 months now who I met on OLD.
At first I couldn't believe my luck he was kind, thoughtful and seemed very keen on me too!
When we first met his work was going through a dry spell so we spent quite a bit of time together possible first red flag was he told me he was falling in love with me after 2 weeks . I must admit I was so taken aback I just said "me too" - big mistake I know!
Anyway now his work has hit a really, really busy spell and he now has to work insane hours, which believe me I have every sympathy for him but still I've not seen him at a weekend for about 3 months.

Recently I was reading an old magazine and came across an article "Are you his rebound?" and realised as I was reading I could answer yes to most of the points raised.

I'm his first relationship since he split up with his wife over 2 years ago. The split was due to her having an affair.

He said he loved me way to soon and our relationship feels to me like a weird mixture of moving fast yet I still feel on the outside of his life.

When he stays midweek I feel like we have settled into an old married couple routine, although he does make the effort to take me out if he's not too tired.

He makes promises now that he doesn't (can't) keep and gets annoyed when I bring it up.

Although we hardly see each other at weekends, he makes plans to help out other people at a weekend and leaves me on my own to do this.

Recently when I had not seen him in over a week when I did see him he spent the evening telling me how he thought his ex was now regretting the split.

The above are just a few points, I know myself I'm too reliant on him but I find it difficult to make friends, everyone i know seems to already have their own group of friends and I'm not good at pushing myself forward to include myself.
I am going to look into joining a meet- up group in my area to get out a bit more.

Thank you for reading, any thought are welcome although I'm fairly sure the consensus of opinion will be to cut him loose!

You are defending him a lot in the face of what posters are pointing out to you OP. Please have a chat with him about your concerns and if he doesn't engage-get out. Too many women put up with this sort of thing and find excuses for it-before you know it you'll be ten years plus two kids in with a guy that actually doesn't give a shit about you. Just look at the threads on here

At 6 months you two should be all loved up and dying to see each other, you've not seen him at the weekend for 3 months - odd, and not acceptable.

When does he take you out, sounds like he just uses you through the week for somewhere to go, it all sounds very boring and forced, not right imo.

What would be your ideal outcome OP? What is the point of starting this thread? I agree with the previous posters who have said that you are doing a lot of defending.

I don't think you sound needy, OP. Just someone who is expecting the normal stuff from a new relationship. I would be the same. It sounds as if it started off really well and now you're confused because it doesn't seem to be living up to your expectations (which were set from the first few months).

I had a similar situation recently with someone who had been split up with someone for a few months. We met quite romantically one evening out of the blue (not OLD) and it all seemed to be fate. Then he ended it a few months later, again out of the blue, saying he wasn't ready. He was keen at first - keen all the way through in fact, so the ending of it came as a shock for me. (He tried to come back a few months later but I said no - I started another thread about this.) Mine too also talked about his ex a lot.

I think sometimes people are in relationships that are over long before they actually finish so they are more ready than others for a relationship when they are finally free. Either way, your gut is telling you something here. It doesn't seem to be a fulfilling relationship for you. It does sound as if he is being a bit selfish here and you deserve better than this.