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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

aibu or is he

11 replies

Shizzlethedizzle · 03/04/2016 08:27

Last night me and DP had date night and went out for a meal and drinks. We were laughing and having a good time. Towards the end, I said I wouldn't have another cocktail otherwise I'd fall asleep when we got home and therefore we wouldn't have sex. He said yeah don't otherwise you'll get weird and aggressive when we have sex. I laughed at first but the the more I think about it, the more insulted I feel.
I don't think I'm particularly weird in bed. I guess that's a matter of opinion but we've never done anything I would class as weird. And in terms of aggressive - I guess I feel more confident when I've had a few drinks and therefore a bit more dominant ie go on top etc, but I've always thought this was 'sexy'. BlushI now feel stupid and mortified. He says I'm over-reacting as always. He has apologised and said it was a bad choice of words and he does actually like it when I am more dominant. Because he has apologised he thinks I should get over it because he's apologised (if that makes sense), but now I'm left feeling a bit shit and humiliated. Am I just being over-sensitive?

OP posts:
ArgyMargy · 03/04/2016 08:32

Yes, you are.

TokenGinger · 03/04/2016 08:41

Yes, you are being over-sensitive. He was having a laugh with you, you laughed back, he clearly thought it was a joke. You've let him know afterwards you're offended, he's done the right thing and apologised. Issue over. Don't drag it out.

DoreenLethal · 03/04/2016 08:42

No you are not!

Why does he say you 'over-reacted as always'? Does he accuse you of overreacting all the time? Are you not allowed to have an opinion about something HE said?

QuiteLikely5 · 03/04/2016 08:45

I can see why you would feel self conscious about his choice of words and he has admitted he made an error.

In the grand scheme of things/life I would let this one go tbh nothing good will come from holding onto it

Shizzlethedizzle · 03/04/2016 09:34

I guess I felt his apology was done a bit begrudgingly, in a 'here we go again' type manner...which is probably a whole other thread DoreenSmile! And the whole thing has definitely left me feeling a bit self-conscious about sex. (Needless to say, we didn't have sex last night!!) Urgh just awkward about an intimate topic. Thanks for the comments anyway!

OP posts:
haveacupoftea · 03/04/2016 09:40

He'd had a few, take what he said with a pinch of salt x

Slowdecrease · 03/04/2016 15:00

I have had the same comment off my DP, I think men have a fantasy about women being dominant but if they are only like that when they've had a few (which I am really) its not quite as sexy and more a bit leery and demanding...I thought my DP had a point tbh. Though it did momentarily dent my pride and my stride .

springydaffs · 03/04/2016 15:16

He says I'm over-reacting as always. [my bold]

What does that mean?

springydaffs · 03/04/2016 15:18

Well fuck it that didn't work did it

He says I'm over-reacting as always

took me a while

TheNaze73 · 03/04/2016 16:24

I don't think you are at all. And he's the loser here

AnyFucker · 03/04/2016 17:04

well done that man

he just wrecked your peace of mind...for what ?

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