American family moving to UK - making friends and transitions

[rosemc]

My husband's company is transferring him to London, so we all (daughters 9 and 7 and a dog) are moving from Boston. We're looking at Dulrich and Sutton. I'm feeling intimidated by the transition and I've read that British and American cultural differences are more significant than one would think. It's important to me Are there meetup groups like there are in the US by interest? Any advice on making friends and how to mitigate cultural differences? I play soccer (football?) with a fun women's league, hiking, and writing groups if anyone has specific recommendations. Thanks in advance.

Actually in London we do use "quite" in both a negative and positive sense; a restaurant which is quite good (rising inflection is good), and quite good (flat or lowering inflection is bad). I digress.

That language barrier can be a reason for culture shock to sometimes hit harder, because the presumption is that things will be quite (to use that word!) similar to what you know, when in fact is is different. Meeting people is exactly in this category. The general view in London is that it is quite hard to get to know people/make friends, but in part that is that once made they are good friends.

Anyway, yes, to a) check out Sutton and Dulwich, very different to each other. b) commuting times/methods for DH. c) schooling for children (in both state and private systems there are complications around applying for places etc) d) accomodation costs (again pretty different)

Anyway, meant to say Welcome and , Londoners are ok really. Plus much less snow"

This might help you find a football team

There is a forum www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?5,879882 that is really useful and really busy. It covers East and West Dulwich, Dulwich village and Peckham. There's loads of stuff about socials, groups, general gossip etc. Highly recommend you have a look. I live in Dulwich and remember walking past an advert for a women's footy team recently called "Bend it like Peckham"

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about the Dulwich area

www.londonfa.com

There are MeetUp groups here too, go online and type in your post code (Zip) just as you would in USA. Welcome to UK! Do keep posting on MN, I for one, would love to hear about how you get on once here. Obviously it was different for me, because I am a Brit (who doesn't get offended by being called that), but when I moved to a completely new area in UK, I made many friends through the local church.

Dulwich is a great place for kids. Lots of parks within walking distance. It's also zone 2 so good for commuting. As others have said, very different to Sutton! Primary schools are very oversubscribed in the whole though so worth looking into this when deciding exactly where to live. We've been here 8 years. Very happy to answer specific questions/give recommendations if it would help, although my kids are younger (and pre-school).

Dulwich is also very friendly and the East Dulwich Forum mentioned above is a very active local website. Look at the Family Room Discussions section.

Have a read of Bill Byson's Notes from a Small Island for an entertaining look at some of our differences.

I recommend Brighton rather than South London - your husband can commute to work in just over an hour, there is loads of stuff for kids and everyone is really friendly. Moved here from London in 2014 not knowing anyone and have a great circle of friends now. It's by the sea too good luck with the move

Would be interested to know why your short list contains both Dulwich and Sutton. As others have said they are very different kinds of places.

We live in Wimbledon and have quite a few American friends, none of whom seem to have found the move traumatic and have settled in really well.

Where will your husband be working?

Definitely read Bill Bryson. He explained a lot to me. His new one about England is The Road to Little Dribbling. It's the follow up to Notes from a Small Island.

Oh Sutton isn't that great

OP if your family are fond of anything cinnamon or grape-flavoured bring it with you as neither are available here.

I wondered about Sutton, too. Never been there but heard not good things about it.

I agree that Americans are much more friendly and open. Am on holiday in the U.S. at the moment and am amazed at how easy people start conversations. It's great, but if I were at home, it would be weird.

Never make small talk or eye contact in the tube. Only if there's a delay or a hold up, then you can tut and say 'typical' to the person standing next to you. Otherwise no talking or you will be seen as a serial killer

I thought Sutton was on the London/Surrey border meaning there are more transport options.

Lots of my US friends do "Junior League" in London but I think that's something from a very particular section of US society?? (fancy americans are way fancier than fancy Brits)

Our washing machines are smaller, our chips (not fries) are bigger, our pulled pork is an abomination before the Lord.

Oh, and we drink like we want to die.

Are there reasons for you choosing those areas? There is a huge American international school in cobham so there is a big ex-pat community in the surrounding areas. Saying that it is also the "broker belt" so property is very expensive.

I know nothing about dulwich - Sutton you really need to do your homework first!

Hi - what an exciting adventure.

I know sutton fairly well so can pinpoint the good and bad areas to live. There is an adequate shopping centre there although you may want to venture to Kingston or Blue Water for the better High end shops.

Kingston isn't too far from Sutton and has lovely riverside walks with Hampton Court nearby for English historic culture and lovely gardens.

Cheam is right next to Sutton and has a lovely park called Nonsuch Park which is great for dog walking. Also has a public leisure centre with pool. The local football team is Sutton United - not sure if they have a woman's league but worth checking out.

There's also a public pool and leisure centre in Carshalton which is next to Sutton also.

There are loads of lovely dog friendly country pubs which are good for dog walking nearby - I can pm you details if you'd like?

Schools seem plentiful there - it's some 30 odd years since I went to Cheam High so not sure what it's like these days. You also have Nonsuch (girls) and a couple of grammar schools nearby too.

There is a magazine called Family Grapevine which is very informative - I think you can google them online.

Sutton College (adult education) puts on loads of courses in various topics which may be a good way of making friends.

Don't forget you will still have an IRS filing requirement whilst you are in the UK - if you need a tax preparer I could steer you towards a local one who understands the requirements of US citizens in the UK and being outside of London her fees are very competitive (unashamed plug 😉).