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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partner is always having a go at me for things that he does himself.

10 replies

brandystrumpet · 02/04/2016 18:34

When he does them 'it's different' and it's driving me batshit crazy, confidence very low. That's it for now I'm exhausted.

OP posts:
665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 02/04/2016 18:54

leave him
then ask how he would have done that?

ApocalypseNowt · 02/04/2016 18:59

Reply "Yes, it is different. No-one has a go at you.....that must be nice".

Have you tried to talk to him about it? Not when he's just done it but at a different time? Does he say how it's different?

Have to say though it sounds very draining...I'd be giving him the boot if he carried on.

Homely1 · 02/04/2016 20:39

Please leave him..this will only get worse

pallasathena · 03/04/2016 16:16

Tell him he's a boring twat and you find his constant fault finding boring, tedious and hugely unattractive. So unattractive in fact that you want to go non-exclusive and have some real life fun with real life men. You know the sort, blokes who know how to treat you like a lady, understand words like 'cherish' and 'laughter'.

Why are you with him?

Original poster
brandystrumpet · 04/04/2016 15:12

I'm with him because he apologises for his behaviour and seems to try and make amends. But I am getting to the stage of wondering how much more upsets I can take. I also wonder how much of me being sensitive is an issue (that's a whole other thread probably) and there are DCs. And I love him.Very much.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 04/04/2016 15:29

He's ground you down and eroded your confidence by the sounds of things. It's not ok to be unkind to someone and then apologise.

pocketsaviour · 04/04/2016 15:42

What kind of things are we talking about here? Minor issues like who left the light on, or who didn't flush the loo, or are we talking major issues like flirting with other people or undermining each other with the DC?

Arfarfanarf · 04/04/2016 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hellsbellsmelons · 04/04/2016 16:00

Ultimatum time - and mean it!
And follow through when he doesn't follow up his apologies and promises with actions.
You've had enough. It's obvious from your posts.
So stop putting up with it.
Real loss of you is the only way to make this abusive asshole see what he is likely to lose. He won't know that if you don't leave.
He's ground you down. You've lost your confidence and yourself because of him!
Why do you love him? What do you love about him?
Is it what he WAS like that you LOVE the IDEA of???
Because that is NOT your reality right now!

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 04/04/2016 16:47

What do you mean by "having a go" at you?

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