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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice needed please

30 replies

Lonelyhour21315 · 02/04/2016 13:00

I have got myself into such a mess and have no one to talk to, I need some advice please!

I have two beautiful children and have been with my husband for 10 years, married for 3! Both of my pregnancies were very very rocky and was poorly with especially my last baby who is 19 weeks old. During labour I found out my husband was having an affair for six months, as he text me the first night I stayed in, instead of her - asking to meet up! I was devastated beyond belief, but wanted to make it possibly work. After putting up with the other women vandalising my house and sending me abuse it got too much for me and found solace in a friend I have known for 5-6 years. shortly after speaking for a few weeks he proceeds to tell me he has liked me since the moment we meet and is deeply unhappy in his relationship. I fought this notion for some time and told him that nothing could ever ever happen!!! But as the weeks went on he became my rock and we grew closer. Meeting up for a chat, turned into a kiss, turned into sleeping together! He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me. I have never felt so lost in all my life!!!

How could I be so stupid to get myself in this messed up situation?!? I find myself crying most days in despair, not knowing what to do! I blamed my husband for a while but how can I when I am equally as bad!! I felt betrayed that he could be with another women whilst I struggling and nearly died bringing our baby into this world, but I do love him stupidly!! I also care a lot for the other man and I've tried to break it off with both of them several times but both say they need me and I can't leave them. Please please I know I am in the wrong for what I have done but I need to speak to someone before i explode.

OP posts:
RealityCheque · 03/04/2016 01:44

OP, to be fair to goddess,

Here on planet mumsnet, having an affair is up there with committing genocide and being an OW makes you worse than an infected pimple on beelzebubs arse.

Vintage45 · 03/04/2016 02:02

Grin at Reality. Cheating isn't great though is it.

goddessofsmallthings · 03/04/2016 02:30

I'd rather be an infected pimple on beelzebub's arse than confess to being an ow on this site, Reality Grin

goddessofsmallthings · 03/04/2016 02:39

In view of your reply to my earlier post, it's somewhat ironic that I was taken to task on your other thread for offering some explanation, or reason, for your affair with the om, Lonely. .... wry Smile

If you read it again in the cold light of day, you may see that a large part of that particular post is merely mirroring what you've said about your situation and I've tried to summarise it in a way that may enable you to realise that it has come about because you are not being true to yourself which, in fact, is borne out by you having said "I feel like I've betrayed myself for losing my blooming standards".

To my mind, spending "most days" crying in despair at not knowing what to do is more akin to being a limp dishrag than a stiff washing up brush that gets on with the job regardless, and I used this analogy because it's one I use to berate myself when I procrastinate about getting my act together and doing what needs to be done.

It's easy to vacillate when two options look equally attractive; in your case one leads to living with a man you know has no compunction about cheating and the other to continuing to live with your h who you know has no compunction about cheating. Out of those two choices, as I've said, I reckon you're best off trying to salvage your marriage as you've stated you love your h "stupidly" whereas you only "care a lot" for the om. There's also your dc to consider and, whatever his other faults, you've said that your h is "a good dad".

Having said that you "got sucked in to compliments", I stand by my assertion that the om is an ego boost for you and don't doubt that you have derived some satisfaction, if not enjoyment, from having two men vying for your affections. If the om didn't have a SO I'd say 'why not?' and why not give consideration to living in a ménage à trois?

As for the om's SO's alleged past, it seems I wasn't far off the money in suspecting that you want to punish your h's ow and I now see that the reason why you have no compunction about having, and continuing, an affair with the om is because you consider his SO to be less worthy than you, albeit you failed to make this clear when you said "I think the best thing is to not hurt another women like I've been hurt".

I'm pleased you've channelled some anger and hope you'll direct it where it will have most effect - it's wasted on me as I have no axe to grind against you.

You'll be relieved to know that, after I've posted this response, I won't revisit this thread and will content myself with calling it as I see it dispensing my "pitiful advise" (sic) elsewhere.

I wish you well, Lonely, and hope you'll soon find the strength of mind and purpose to do right by all concerned, including yourself.

ricketytickety · 04/04/2016 10:05

I was going to say they both treated you badly and that the OM took advantage of a vulnerable woman. But your reaction to goddess's advice shines a new light on your problem: you have no compassion for the OM's woman as she herself is a cheat.

All of these people you are involved with (your husband, the OM and his partner) all sound like they have lost their moral compass and you are quickly following suit. This is probably due to the hurt/vulnerability of your situation. But just because they are like it, don't lower yourself to their standard.

Take back your self respect that these men have taken from you. The OM cannot insist on a relationship when you want to end it. That's controlling, stalker territory.

Your husband is doing the usual controlling 'I'm not leaving' that unkind people do when they ruin their marriage.

They're all unkind people and it's rubbing off on you. This is not how everyone behaves. Hard to believe when you are surrounded by infidelity and hurtful behaviour. But it is true. There are good men out there, kind wives, equal partnerships. And being on your own is your first step to freeing yourself from this nasty situation.

Don't berate yourself further, that just weakens you in the eyes of these men. Just focus on yourself and your children and don't let anyone come anywhere near you until you have rebuilt your self esteem and can see again what is right and what is wrong.

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