I've nc'd for this. I'm not sure why but I have.
For back ground I left my ex bf of 2.5 years approx 3 months ago. I missed my home town and felt lonely. We had been trying to get pregnant but due to my pcos things weren't happening. I felt unsupported by him and decided to cut my losses, that I'd rather not have children than have them with a man who's being lazy and disinterested. It was a huge decision for me to make, and I have been grieving for the relationship and the likely new reality that I'll never have a family of my own. So it's been tough. I've moved back to my hometown, about 50 miles from where I was living and have started a new job, it's been busy.
My Ex and I have still been in contact, via sporadic texting. I'd left some things by mistake at our old house, which I collected while he was at work, he knew I was collecting them and had left me a letter, basically saying he was sorry, that he has realised his mistakes and would like to try again. That he wanted a family with me and he still loves me.
I agreed to see him, I work night shifts and he picked me up from work on bank holiday Monday at 7am, it was the last of three night shifts and I was shattered. He came back with me to my house and we sat and chatted, just about work and general day to day life, nothing serious. I told him I was shattered and needed to get some sleep. He was tired too as he was up early. So we went up stairs and got into bed, me in my pj's and him in his t shirt and pants. I was asleep within minutes. I half woke up after a few hours as I could feel that he'd put his fingers inside me, downstairs and that my pyjama top had been pulled up and my breasts exposed.
I just laid there frozen as my brain was still sleepy and tired and I didn't know what the fuck to do anyway.
I felt him reach under his pillow and I could hear him using his phone. I think he was talking pictures. I rolled over and he got up and went downstairs. I got up about half an hour later but didn't say anything to him about it. He was acting his normal self and he went back home shortly after.
I've text him asking if something happened in bed last night as I had a weird feeling and he fessed up straight away, that he had felt and sucked my breasts and put his finger inside me, that he was sorry and that he has 'a problem with boundaries,' that he took a selfie of us as I looked 'cute asleep' but has since deleted it.
I feel really violated but I don't know if I'm working myself over nothing and I should let it go because I got into bed with him. But then I know that I didn't consent to him touching me in a sexual way. I feel all confused, and to be honest I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know what I'm expecting from this post either. But I just needed to write it down and get it out of me.
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Relationships
Touching me when I'm sleeping [Trigger warning added by MNHQ]
DottyButtons · 29/03/2016 02:08
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OP, poor you 
of course you didn't consent. This happens to people in marriages and relationships too and it's wrong in any situation. He knew you were not in a position to give consent.
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