SO tired of women/girls being held accountable for mens failings...

[differentnameforthis]

This is not a TAAT, but it is because of a recent thread, and some concerning behaviour that I have been seeing recently.

Am I the only one who is so tired of having to explain that a man doesn't have a right to touch a woman against her wishes. That even if she refuses sex, or can't have sex, for whatever reason, he doesn't have a right to take it, just because he 'might be frustrated" or "you are married"

I just seem to keep repeating it again & again....which saddens me on a site that is predominantly frequented by women.

A man/husband/boyfriend/partner doesn't have the right to touch any woman in a sexual way when she has been clear that sex is currently off the table. Or has said NO

He doesn't have a right to film her sleeping, while he touches her/himself

And that if he does do any of this to her, and she sees it as assault, then it IS assault. And she is allowed to feel violated.

That just because you (general you) like to be touched in a certain way, or woken up with sexual touching, or whatever, it doesn't mean that everyone has to accept it.

She doesn't have to "talk to him" about his feelings, if she has already done so & if he is aware of what is going on.

Or the most recent one that I have been seeing a lot of (not just on here) "there are 2 sides to every story"

Can we just support the woman who is asking for advice based on her feelings/words that she has posted? Can we not call her a troll (the troll hunting on a recent thread was awful), can we not insinuate that she is lying by saying that there are 2 side to the story, can we not tell her that she is being dramatic, or ridiculous?

Please?

was ust going to link it for you, MistressD but see you have clocked it

if it makes you feel any better, the thread in question at least originated in AIBU if I am thinking of the correct one

AF I saw it in Relationships it must be the same thread. its erm..enlightening to say the least..!

Yep, a bit horrifying that so many women hold those views.

Heres another oh so supportive thread from AIBU

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2601536-AIBU-to-be-so-angry-at-DH-over-porn-lies

Antique - put simply it is an entirely black and white issue.

RvR basically stated that the 'marital defence' to rape had never existed. That the principle of law is that non-consensual sex between married partners is non-consensual, the marriage contract does not absolve spouses from the requirement to obtain consent and the perpetrator of non consensual sexual behaviour is committing a criminal act.

There are no 'two sides' and 'thinking about a relationship'.

Both partners have a reasonable expectation of a sexual relationship in a relationship with each other. It is fine to leave a relationship if you are not having a sexual relationship and this is making you unhappy (or for any reason big or small in fact).

What is not fine, is not a relationship, is sexually assaulting someone. Anyone who thinks that someone should tolerate a sexual assault because of keeping the relationship fails to correctly identify that the perpetrator has committed a crime and that a relationship will inevitably suffer and breakdown where a sexual assault has been committed even if the victim doesn't leave.

How can you love and trust someone who has assaulted you? If you are able you are lacking in love for yourself. In both scenarios the relationship can never be an equal one.

And quite frankly saying that it is demeaning to expect a person not to deal with sexual frustration by sexually assaulting their partner?! What planet are you actually on?

Its getting fucking ridiculous on these boards just lately.

It is odd. Loads of men landing and spraying all over threads. Alongside that, women who have a problem with DH and ask for advice and minutes into the thread they're pounced on WELL why didn't you do this, or that? & that choice line I read today "Its easy to leave your DH". Oh ok then. Decide 5pm on a Friday evening you're going to leave, fling a few bits into a case then off you go, by 6pm sail out of the door into a new life, clutching DCs hands and skipping as you go. Easy peasy. Even if LTB wasn't the advice you were looking for...