Luckily, during my entire pregnancy, I had a fellow mummy friend who was due to have her baby 1 week afterwards. We talked babies all the way through and we were there for each other having started out 'friends of friends' and ended up as good friends by the time our babies were born 4 days apart.
Our boys were introduced very early on and we began facing the same difficulties, both boys had colic and both of us struggled mentally as a result and we acted as a support for each other. She was fantastic for me at the time and I know I helped her too.
My mummy friend was a little intense at times and would request to spend time with us very regularly. So a few times I made out I was busy so that DS and I could have a bit of space and time alone together rather than see my friend all the time.
As time edged closer to returning to work from our mat leave, I became aware that I wasnt giving DS my time or attention whenever we were spending time with my friend. She seemed to take up all my attention and energy when I wanted to enjoy the time I had left with DS and was very gushy about her own DS; I felt she would divert my attention from my own DS to hers constantly. She seemed to have lot of 'problems' all the time, many that weren't really problems, so I feel she needed my input and help constantly.
As a result, I pulled away a little. I still wanted and appreciatd her friendship but I needed a bit of space to enjoy my own DS. I shortened our meet ups and made sure that DS got my attention even when she was around.
The outcome has been a little negative. At first my friend appeared to become a bit flustered when I was giving my own DS attention during our meet ups, but I thought she would soon accept it as the norm.
The friend has now however pulled away completely. I do still value her friendship and I'm now feeling a little left out. Our meet up days have evaporated completely as my friend has found other friends to spend her time with and doesn't invite me along at all.
I've tried to build things back up to a healthy friendship but get the feeling that unless I am able to meet her terms and give her and her DS 100% attention, listen to all her problems, never revealing any of my own then she's not that interested.
She has been a very good friend to me in the past when we were going through much of the same thins so don't want to lose her friendship completely. However it looks that way. I'm now finding it quite lonely on the days I'm off with DS as I don't have many other mummy friends to socialise with. I miss her, but don't want an intense friendship like in the beginning.
Is our friendship worth saving or time to walk away?