Dh problem

[Noneexistantlover]

My dh can't keep an erection when in bed with me, he blames his strong painkillers but I've found he watches porn too so must be to keep himself pleased. Today I lost my temper and said well how come you wank to porn? He denied it, but I've seen the porn. I have never ever minded porn in our relationship but I'm getting pretty down about it to the point I'm thinking about leaving

This isn't a problem about porn. This is a problem with a man who doesn't think you matter in the least. In his head you are his mum/servant/housekeeper, not his partner.
Do either of you work, by the way? Any children? I'm wondering if this 'bad back' of his means he never lifts a finger in any way and picked you because you were lonely and vulnerable and prepared to put up with this sort of shit just to be In A Relationship.

He's a disrespectful sleaze

He doesn't have erectile dysfunction, he can get it up watching women being sexually used by men.

This "insecurities" term is bandied about far too much, as a description of women. There are men who are awful to their partner - as yours is being, OP - then when you naturally respond to that, YOU are the one with the "issues". These idiots speak as if they're in a position to diagnose insecurity, when they are the cause of how you feel. Who in life is 100% secure anyway? & its not a reason for others to treat you badly either

He doesn't care enough about you to attempt to resolve the situation. He wants to continue to wank to porn and his blaming and so what attitude, is your "relationship" really. I don't know why you sound so apologetic about him in some of your posts. Its horrid when our partners aren't who we want them to be but its a harsh road in life when you won't accept who and what they actually are. Your man is disrespectful idiot and his attitude towards you shows what he truly thinks of women.

He has a bad back? Or is it another excuse to do fuck with and for you?

He doesn't sound very appealing. Wanting a sexual as well as all other aspects of a relationship with a man like that is a road to nowhere. Maybe its the "thrill of the forbidden" with him but you've the patience of a saint putting up with a pita like that. He may not respect you, or himself. But you can respect yourself

He has porn addiction. Its why he can't perform. he probably doesn't realize it or refuses to. No morning wood indicates a problem. Its embarrassing to admit but I'm going thru it as well. I didn't realize it myself till I couldn't keep it up long enough after a very very long drought(now still on going)from what i read up about it its like self hypnosis it took time to happen. It takes about 3 months of no porn(masturbating goes hand in hand) to reset the brain/body to react to normal stimulation. Easier said than done though the effects said to be similar to heroin addiction . I'm still struggling. I get this urge but can't get erection without porn(they call it hyper stimulation) it only gets erect long enough too "finish" and not even fully erect. I only seem to last a couple days without then have to start over again. This really embarrassing to talk about. Ladies this is a real problem . If you see your partner doing/starting this nip it in the bud now because he won't be able to on his own.

Regardless of the current sex issues you are having, you neither trust or respect him, with good reason it seems.

I think you deserve to be happy, and this man doesn't make you happy