What to do

[WhoGivesAFlying]

Your husband (who's on probation for violence towards you) who you love and have a child with. Or your family (who have found out about the DV).

We love each other and I want it to work. He suggested moving away but my already split family think I'll be even more detached.

Also we have problems with major Disney dad wen it comes to his DC...so much so it's caused massive anxiety for me ( I become public enemy number one wen the kids are here) so much so I'm on a prescription now.

The answer seems obvious, but why can't I take that leap

The next time (while on probation) we argued and he grabbed and squeezed my wind pipe,,,then he pulled my head forwayand slammed it back against the wall, I wa left feeling dizzy and with a massive lump

Sometimes I feel really strong...but I have no friends now...no one to turn to. I use to have lots

You have your family.

And I could nearly guarantee that your real friends are still there at the end of the phone.

"I have no legal grounds to keep him out once the bail was lifted"

This is not true. You can get an emergency injunction, such as a non-molestation order or occupation order. As a victim of domestic violence you should be entitled to Legal Aid to get this. More information here:
rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/violence-against-women-and-international-law/domestic-violence-injunctions/#A%20non-molestation%20order

Did the police put you in touch with the domestic violence unit? Did they point you in the direction of any support?

If you haven't got professional advice yet, you must speak to Women's Aid. If you want legal advice you could also call the Rights of Women helpline:
rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/

For me, a big issue is the way he is with the kids....he will pull me up I front of them if he thinks I didn't say good morning ("did you say good morning to sd(9) who give?") even thought I have...and it belittling. Yet when I walk into a room in te morning it one of them will aknolagev me.? And he won't ask them?

Thanks another I think they did but I refused it all as I wanted to drop all charges (I wasn't allowed due to the nature) and it was a year ago this mont now so probably too late for any help

It would be so helpful to speak to an impartial person, just to talk

It's not too late.

Please contact WA. They can help, as can your DA unit. Even if it's just to steer you in the right direction.

DA?

Domestic abuse

It's not too late. Women's Aid are impartial and they will listen to you. The helpline is open 24 hours (although it gets busy so you might have to try a few times before you get through).

please please please get out of this situation and listen to the advice here.

He tried to STRANGLE you. please.

You will have support once you explain the situation you are in

What a mess :(

This is really all you think you deserve?

It feels like a giant mess right now but look at what you said; the weeks he wasn't there were stress free.

Your whole life could be like that!

It's worth it. It is.

I just want my life back, my family to
be back on track. I have broken three vertebrae jumping out a windo 5 years ago because of all this stress

Here is all the helpline info:
www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/if-you-are-a-woman-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx

Thanks everyone. All I wanted was us all to be happy, I wanted my dsc to have a home with us (I've know them since they were 2 & 7 and no, I wasn't the OW, it was a mutual split) but it did t work out. Mum always made her feelings clear and that caused strain on mine and the dsc relationship and then that had a know in effect with DH and I. Can't do right for doing wrong

I'm going to bed but I hope you call the helpline! I will keep spamming your thread until you do

They are 15 & 9 now....I still care for them a great deal, just do t agree with the parenting (I.e treat them like guests and not as family)

Thanks another. It seems a bit scary and I'm sure I'm not a priority

You can have a very happy, healthy and safe family, love.

Families come in all shapes and sizes and yours will be infinitely better without him in it. [Flowers]

I'm off to the doctors tomorrow to see how in getting on with my anti depressants...(I'm only two weeks in and H thinks this will be the cure and it's all, obviously me being crazy). I will tell her the whole story and get help from her if I can. I've take a sleeping pill now (also prescribed) so won't be long for bed I hope x

Goodnight and good luck with doctor in the morning.

Please leave before he kills you or your child.