He's not coming back

[Angieyy1]

It's been 10 weeks and I know it's over I thought we could talk and at least go through what went wrong. I guess I just need someone to talk to to as I'm feeling so depressed now.

The days just drag and I have no interest in anything.... Iv lost interest in my work and my college course I spend most of my day just crying when my son isn't around ..I tried to go to the gym today and walked out after 20mins ... It was my dads 70th birthday yesterday and I just wanted to escape the family get together. I'm now 8 stone I have no appetite although I can sleep I'm waking up at 6:30 I know I'm depressed that's why this break up feels so bad... I'm 39 next week and I used to love birthdays and I couldn care less about it.... I feel so embarrassed that I am emotionally and mentally weak ..... Iv texed him constantly to ask if we can talk about what went wrong some times he ignores me and then other times he will say yes and then cancel..it hurts to know after 2 years I don't even get a conversation from him....I feel so worthless ..... And ashamed of how Iv texed him constantly it's not something I have ever done before but I thought we had a future together

OP I've also read most of your previous threads. I'm not seeing that you're getting any benefit from posting here even though you've had great advice. It's hard to know if you're just wanting to vent or if you are actually posting for help and advice.

Firstly - to repeat - you need to STOP having any contact with him at all. He's enjoying tormenting you.

And definitely go to see your GP. It's clear from your reaction this break up that you need support and ADs can help you short term. Agree with other posters, just because one didn't suit you there are others.

xpost with OP.

Please also bear in mind that if you keep pestering this man, he may decide to take legal advice. Having the police visit you and warn you that you risk harassment charges would be a humiliating and distressing experience that you really need to avoid.
It's over. End of. You need to start focussing on getting yourself well again.

I have explained that I haven't anyone to talk to and I feel terrible so I just wanted to talk to people.... Venting is been mad ? I'm not mad about anything I'm really hurt

I'm not pestering him I send him a message every couple of days asking if we can talk ? I haven't been to his home or his work or even phoned him surely he would block me if that's the case

Nothing wrong with venting OP.
I didn't suggest anything about it being angry, I would have used the word 'ranting' for that.
I just mean wanting to talk about it but NOT wanting to hear any advice. Which is ok if that's what you want. You can just talk about how you feel but add that you aren't looking for advice. But keep in mind that posters are free to give advice if they want to.

It's just hard, as someone who has followed most of your threads, to know what you want from us when you post. That's all.

And actually, reading your post again, maybe you should get mad. I'd be angry as fucking hell with a man who treated me like this. Sometimes it helps us to get angry!

Sorry I just wanted to talk to some one, I should of never posted on here il delete my account...

The thing is OP, even if you do meet and find out all the details it won't make it any better, and may make it worse. IT really won't be the answer to everything. The reasons / details don't really matter now do they?

It's just hard, as someone who has followed most of your threads, to know what you want from us when you post. That's all.

How is it hard?

She cant talk to people in RL and now you've chased her off here Darren.

Some people just want to let off steam.

OP I so know how you feel, but you just have to take one day at a time.

I wrote on here about a month ago and tried to go NC with an ex. I deleting his facebook/blocked him on the mobile but unfortunately I'm unable to block him on work phone. He contacted me every few days to try to remain friends but I stood firm. We eventually had a heart to heart Friday which hurt like hell because we both still care for each other. BUT, I finally convinced him that it was for the best and it finished with us both wishing each other well for the future. Talking properly to him Friday though has set me back to square one but I know I will recover.

You have to go NC for your benefit - talking to him will not bring you closure, it will just hurt you again. Please see your GP if you need to.

So I absolutely didn't intend to 'chase her off' and I was trying to find out if OP wanted to vent (let off steam) or if she actually wants advice. I'm sorry if that didn't come across.

There have been lots of threads about this. I've followed most of them and it's clear that the break up doesn't appear to be getting any easier for OP to deal with, so I thought it was time to ask to find out how she can be best supported coming here.

If you can't do anything at the moment start from little steps...

Mine were like these:

1. Deleted his number, deactivated FB
2. If not at work (and yes it's true you loose interest in college course. I lost interest in mine too) I walked. Long walks, every day, tears, sad face, lost so much weight...
3. I went to GP just to ask why I have pain in my chest and instead of ADs I went to yoga...
4. I still think sometimes with "What Ifs" but half of what I have done in the past begging him to have me in his life, I feel ashemed now for even asking...
5. His lost not mine. Won't allow to someone to treat me the way he was allowed to...
6. He met me at my weakest point in life... He was abusive.
7. Keep posting on here.

You deserve better!
Keep believing.

Read most of the thread and would encourage you to keep up exercise even if it is only 20 mins, you've indicated that you weren't happy throughout the relationship and to be frank sounds like your well out of it. The things he has said to you "Wish I had met you 10 years ago" sound eerily familiar to what was said to a friend. This friends bf turned out to be trouble, played around, was verbally abusive and enjoyed the odd line or 10. Don't worry about your weight it will resolve itself. It dosent matter what questions you want answering, you won't get them,he'll be loving the drama of it all. Draw a line and get whatever help you can, the gp's have heard it all before.

I share some posters frustrations. Many threads from OP saying the same thing. Lots of support, kindness and advice which she doesn't want to hear or do, choosing to continue harassing her ex. I'm afraid texting every couple of days since NY is harassment and would have me running as far away as possible from you. You don't want to attempt to help yourself and seem to only want to justify your continued contact. Even the effect this (your actions/behaviour) must be having on your DS doesn't seem to be motivation enough that you draw a line under it and positively and actively take steps to help yourself. I personally worry about the effect you are having on your son

It sounds like your termination and manipulative Ex's need exorcising and you obviously need RL support to do this.

Your multiple threads and harassing your Ex (yes, you are harassing him) are just ways for you to stay invested in a relationship that's over. You need to start being honest with yourself about what you want because getting over someone requires action, which means not ruling out AD's and seeking talking therapy.

There are opportunities open to you but we can't take advantage of them for you.

Angie , I am a year in and still trying to rescue him from the ow , I too block all the numbers and then in a moment of madness text him and he pushes my buttons again , it's so hard , no contact is the best but omg it's difficult and lonely , sending you 💐❤️🙏

Inexperienced chick great advice private message me angie if you need one to one help x