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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

ok I probably know the answer but

10 replies

Tigger2016 · 19/03/2016 17:45

I've been saying this man around six weeks. Have fallen for him hook line and sinker. But he doesn't feel the same. We get on so well and have agreed to be friends. BUT. I don't think I can do this. BUT he's had depression and I'm also suffering from it. He's my only light at the end of the tunnel at the moment. But this is killing me feeling like this

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 19/03/2016 17:57

I'm so sorry, it's so disappointing and really crushing when someone doesn't feel the same way.

I also know how it feels to have that person be the only bright spot of joy in your life.

But it sounds like you know that you're going to have to cut contact with him and step away, for your own sanity. Otherwise you're going to be hanging on there in the grim and forlorn hope that he'll change his mind, and when he starts seeing someone else (which he will) you'll be cut to pieces.

Are you getting any help with your depression? Flowers

merville · 19/03/2016 18:05

The usual advice if you've fallen for someone and they don't reciprocate is to walk away - as you will only get hurt 'pretending' to be friends.

I understand however that being depressed it is even more difficult to cut contact with someone who brightens your day/you have feelings for. Perhaps you could wean yourself off him. Try to focus your time & energy on other sources of company etc. Fill your free time with activities, get out & active as much as possible & reduce your contact with him to minimum.

Even with his depression, it's v unlikely he's going to change on this (in fact one would've expected the depression to make it more likely he might've fallen into a semi-rel with someone who's 'after him', as such).
It's hurtful & disappointing but at least he's been straight/honest, instead of exploiting it as many a person has done.

OneFlewOverTheChickenHutch · 19/03/2016 18:16

Hid

Tigger2016 · 19/03/2016 18:20

@oneflewoverthecuckoosnest

Hid???

OP posts:
Tigger2016 · 19/03/2016 18:21

So we've just spoken and I got upset and it's over - it's all over - told him to leave me alone - and it hurts like hell

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 19/03/2016 18:23

Not much more soul destroying than loving/liking someone who doesn't feel the same. Walk away.

Hissy · 19/03/2016 19:02

sweetheart, I know it hurts, and it may take time to overcome, but you did the right thing.

Chocolatteaddict1 · 19/03/2016 19:05

tigger WineFlowersCake

Yep it hurts like a mo fo. Been there.

chin up - there really is plenty of fish in the sea. X

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 19/03/2016 19:08

6 weeks? That's no basis for a friendship. You'll get over him but only if you cut him off.

Tigger2016 · 20/03/2016 15:55

www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/carlyraejepsen/tonightimgettingoveryou.html

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