If you have DC who were planned, how did you go about the "planning" part?

[BertieBotts]

DS was unexpected So I've never done that part before.

Just interested in a straw poll/stories to see what a range of experiences there are, really. I know that there's not necessarily a "normal". But I'm curious as to whether you just sort of went OK, let's have a baby or whether you had some kind of detailed 5 year plan which included DC or whether it was somewhere in between.

[W33XXX]

DS wasn't planned though we had talked about having kids in the future, short term plan was to move to a larger house, move up the career ladder and then start properly 'planning' children. Came back from holiday pregnant, we were excited but scared though knew we wanted the baby so much. Decided to put our house up for sale when I was 7 months pregnant thinking it would take a good 6months/1year to sell, handed our keys in on the Tuesday, got the keys to our new house (which was uninhabitable the state it was left in ) on the Wednesday, waters broke on the Thursday and had DS on the Friday! It was a very stressful time!

DS is now 3 and we have started talking about the right time to try for a little brother or sister for him. DH would like to start trying on holiday in June though (should we be lucky enough to catch right away) they would have both have March birthdays, we ideally would like them to have their own birthday month, partly for money reasons and March is a busy month for birthdays in our family so would be nice for them having their own special time to look forward to. DH also starts a new job soon so would like him to have some time to enjoy his new position, let the company 'get to know him' before he starts asking for time off for appointments etc. So ideally we will be trying for another come August / September time. Super excited looking through DS old baby things!!

[BertieBotts]

Thank you all! This is massively massively reassuring. I want to go for it. DH wants to go for it. Financially and practically we are stable enough. But I keep feeling like it can't be that simple just to decide to stop using contraception (not that we are massively careful right now anyway) and go for it? Feel like I am missing something like we need permission or something. I think it's probably just leftover guilt from being pregnant with DS too young. :( it's different this time, but my gut doesn't seem to know that. Maybe weird because I've been trying to suppress the broody feelings for so long that to finally unleash them is a bit scary!

[Annarose2014]

No matter how ready you are, actually starting to TTC can be terrifying. I remember when the specific month came around when we had planned to start, just going "Oh shit - dare we make it real?" I was seriously considering backing out!

It's all fun and games when it's theoretical, isn't it?

[BertieBotts]

That's exactly it, Anna! :) Maybe it's not just me and my 'ishoooos' after all

[Doilooklikeatourist]

We were both in our 30s when we met , decided there was no point hanging around , so started on the folic acid and stopped taking the pill in May , got married middle of June and pregnant in August

When DS was about 18 months , I said to DH I was thinking I was ready for another baby , he agreed and DD was here the following summer

No massive planning , as who knows whats going to happen , or how long it will take

[Dellarobia]

Got married and wanted to spend a year together just enjoying being married. Then decided to stop using contraceptives, got pregnant a couple of months later.

[hurtandconfued2016]

Didn't plan first baby but knew we didn't want to much of a gap between. So when our son was 1 1/2 we where on holiday and had a chat and decided to start trying. We weren't doing charts or anything like that just stopped all protection I fell pregnant first time now have 2 year old and a 2 week old :)

[kittentits]

My first was with my ex and unplanned, I was 18.

First with dh who was then dp - I had a bit of a hormonal meltdown at him, we had decided early on we wanted kids together but then stuff like moving in together etc got in the way, I wanted to know WHEN. So after listening to me rant, and bringing me a box of tissues, he said "shall we start now then?". I wouldn't recommend that technique...

Second, we had decided to start trying on honeymoon, but I couldn't wait and told him I was coming off the pill the week before we got married. That wasn't sensible either, I was a bloated mess on our wedding day!

Both babies took around a year to conceive, and I still floundered and panicked when I got the BFPs just as much as I would had they been unplanned.
Hmm actually maybe I shouldn't have answered...

[FoxgloveStar]

Kids were always in our plan. Discussed when was the right time on many occasions, taking into consideration our age, career, money, perceived "readiness". Decided to go on one massive blow out holiday and then I'd come off the pill. Now 30 weeks pregnant.

[BertieBotts]

No no kittentits (great name!) that's exactly the kind of thing which is reassuring. Nice to hear from someone else who had DC1 young.

Anyway something shifted last night. Went to bed still feeling unsure with a list of things to discuss with DH but didn't actually talk about any of them, lay down processing, about 30 mins later suddenly felt a rush of excitement/fear. Much better combination! Except I've now given up on sleep, it's nearly 5am so I'll have to get up soon(ish) anyway and I'm starving.

I will reassess the list and still discuss. But I feel better!

[SpanielFace]

DS1 was unplanned.
Decided to try for DC2 when DS1 was 15 months. We just stopped using condoms. I got pregnant first cycle, which was a bit of a shock, as as id expected it to take longer. Sadly lost that baby at 21 weeks. Started TTC as soon as we had the post mortem results. Took almost a year to get pregnant again, ended up temping, using ovulation tests etc. But it worked, and DS2 is now 2 months old. We have a bigger age gap than I'd planned (3.5 years, rather than the 2 years we would have had if the little boy we lost had lived) but you really can't plan everything.

[NoncommittalToSparkleMotion]

DD was a planned, wanted and wished for baby who came exactly 10 months after we got married. Had been off pill for 6 months, conceived on our honeymoon.

After awful pregnancy, labour and birth and PND, I'm waffling about trying again. I also have terrible periods, so I'm either looking into my reproductive swan song or an endometrial ablation.

I'm a real ball of sunshine. Sorry.

[Ahappynewmummy]

I don't know if my ds was planned or not. I'd been going to a gyni for a few years to see if they can sort out my periods and all that jazz. all the hormones I was on was messing me about, headaches, mood swings, painful periods, being sick. so I said to my DP I'm coming off these now I've had enough. we've been together nearly two years we're grownups if we get pregnant then we will (so dunno if that was us planning it) that was in the November. forgot to mention I was told there would be a very slim chance I could get pregnant naturally....anyway we went on holiday in the may, went to theme parks water slides heavy drinking. I took tablets to stop me from bleeding and after finishing them I never came on and in the June took a test and I was 10 weeks gone :O so that was the unplanned bit. xD