I'm losing my marbles in new relationship

[WednesdaysBudget]

I'm a bit embarrassed to be writing this, but am hoping you'll be gentle and help me pick my way through it.

Am weeks in to a new relationship, and so far so good. But I just feel uncertain about it. I worry that I'm either over-thinking and going to spoil it by being needy or that I'm in danger of ignoring signs that this isn't right for me at this time.

Please give me a good shake and tell me to calm the fuck down

Good point slow and something for me to reflect on. (Yes, we dated first).

Is it that wrong to reassure him I wouldn't be unkind? I mean, I know I'll grumble and get snappy and make mistakes and inadvertently hurt his feelings perhaps but I can't imagine making unkind comments (think along the lines of putting him down because of his weight, getting wrinkles). I just don't that's on in lots of relationships, not just intimate ones.

I think in a new relationship it should be an unspoken given that you'll have good intentions towards each other and it being unspoken ie actions rather than words is important . Words can create a lot of expectation and pressure....actions speak for themselves.

Ok, well I won't get in to defending myself but it wasn't apropos of nothing, it was said in context that I feel was appropriate.

Sometimes on here when faced with a situation you can't quite put your finger on, the solution to walk away almost feels like an over reaction, it's the benefit of the doubt not being given etc.

But this forum is stuffed with posters who have regularly not heeded that instinct and now or have regretted it or are now in serious trouble. Op I get it might feel unkind to cut and run on what might be
On face value flimsy evidence. But your already on alert now for future instances, the trust is creaky at best, and your feeling doubt to the point of asking us

Thanks [guilty]

A range of responses then, and no consensus. I guess that reassures me that my uncertainty is ok too. I feel better for thinking this through, so thanks to everyone for taking the time to contribute.

Uncertainty is ok though...it when certainty kicks in and then something tangible happens to make us question our expectations in a relationship that the issues start...Uncertainty can be exciting and stimulating, if you frame it that way. My best advice to you is always believe that someone has the best intentions towards you, until its proved differently. The other great bit of advice is treat your partner with the same respect and level of expectation you treat your friends ie as individuals who choose to be in your life not someone who owes you happiness.

FFS
Only on mumsnet can a nice relationship be made to seem like a nasty one.
I despair.

My DP and I have been together 3 years and we are still finding our way in arguments discussions. We have both brought baggage from previous relationships which were the polar opposite of each other, so we come at things with very different expectations.

However, over the years we have both learned how to get the best from each other and each time we have cross words we come away with a little more understanding of each other. We are growing closer with time and feel optimistic that we can deal with any miscommunications that arise.

From what you've said here I wouldn't write it off, but I would make sure he's open to talking about your both of your approaches towards conflict resolution in the future.

OP think of the person you love most in the whole world. Now ask yourself whether you would be happy for that person to be in a relationship with your new chap assuming he behaved with them as he does with you. If you wouldn't want the person you love the most to be on the receiving end of those behaviours then you deserve better too.