mother and daughter relationship

[22ann]

does anyone else have a relationship with their mother that has changed after having a baby?
mine has changed not only due to lack of time but several other things - mother being overbearing(i know they mean well but she has always been a bit like that only now it's not so easily ignored)and i have an awkward jealous m and fil that are only happy when they are the centre of a attention and everything is going their way.
they hate the idea that my family live a mile away whreas they live 1 hr away.
my dh & i see both sides of the family once every three weeks usually - which pil see to be happy about that we treat them the same, & it did give us some breathing space.
Now i'm wondering whether i should be spending more time with my mum, only nothing could be said to pil as they would start to pressurise us into seeing them more often.
can anyone help?

do what suits you ann.

your baby and dh and of course you are the priorities in your life, not older elatives who act like babies.

if you want to see your mum do so, simple as that.

PIL will just have to deal with it, but whatever you do DON'T pander to them.

Your pil shouldn't be pandered to, as said. If you have a good relationship with your mother, then don't jepordise it. If you want to see her, do. Why do the PIL need to know anyway? Surely you're can "pop in" to see your mum without telling them??? And it's understandable that you'd be closer to your own mother than your parents in law.

PIL are very silly indeed.

My fil had to explain to mil that as i had a mother she would never be my first point of call if i needed a babysitter.

I see my mum every week so dd can spend at least 1/2 a day with her (she live a 2 min walk away).

Mil can be very demanding, but can't cope with dd as she doesn't sit in the same place like her other 2 grandchildren.

Although this probelm has been solved after a couple of disagreements and treating my dh as the family scapegoat and generally being nasty to him. I have stopped reminding him to call her or should we go over and see them. It is now down to her to make contact as dh never phones.

my pil & m&d have arranged to go out, they been hintoing about it for a while & both said yes we'll have to meet up at ds christening in summer, they have finally arranged a date, my mum asked if we'd like to go and i explained that we'd like to see one side of the family at a time & it wasn't really something we wanted to get into - mil would be arranging alsorts for us to attend and as she & fil can be very difficult to get along with, dh & i are thankful that we don't have to spend any extra time (within reason) with them. anyway i'm concerned that what i do will get slipped out by my parents or dh that i would go and see them possibly with ds, i know they would automatically be wanting to call over in the week to see ds & i so that they are the same.
I had asked for space from my mum during the week as she was forever calling round & ringing, this was relayed to pil when they suggested they could call over in the week by dh.
i know my mum would be delighted if i visited but i don't want it to get back to how it was after i had ds either.
i feel a bit confused, maybe i should see how i feel and in the coming weeks?