Good evening! Absolutely love MN and over periodearshot many years I read threads... Picked up so many valuable advices ....
I am 35 ... Married and 3 dc( 13,11 and 1)....last 4/5 years became unhappy but last few months very very very unhappy to the point that I am longing for my youth ... Feeling like I made all the wrong choices .
Marrige is not what it used to be .... He has violent outbursts and I came yesterday to to point that I can't do this anymore .... I just can't mentally and physically
Not going back to work because of the childcare issue ( will go back within a year ) .... I became overweight ( more then 50kg I put on in a space of 7 yrs).... Don't feel going anywhere ,my confidence is down ....
I just want to close my eyes and give up on everything .... My family is not in uk ( I am not from here even - but live and work here 16 yrs) and my mum doesn't know how unhappy I am , or I became .
I am surviving day to day just because of my dc. They are my Strenght and sunlight in this dark time . So many things are there but it's long to write about everything .... Equally happy to answer on any question .
We never went clubbing ... Restaurants .... Pubs ... Meeting with friends ( don't have any only at work).... No one can't even understand life I am living . He is such a introvert that is affecting even kids ( older ones) ....
I met him when 18 and married soon after .... 19 ..... I missed all the madness of youth ... Gave him my best years .... I need them back ... Can't breath .... What have I done to myself ?!?
Can I ever move on ? Can I pull out old happy me? Can I make up for lost years or am I already too old? Too late?
I just really need honest advice ... Not comfort just honest words .... Thank you .....