Kateshair why are you lying about the length of this relationship?
You met him in October.
By mid November you were saying that you still hadn't had an exclusivity conversation with him, though you'd slept with him.
By mid December he was back 'active' on OLD.
These are not senses tingling, it's interpretation of fact. You know that he hasn't asked you to be exclusive. You know he has stayed online.
You said before you'd have the exclusivity conversation after some wine. If you need alcohol to broach that conversation, then you're with the wrong person. If a relationship is feeling good, you know that when you mention exclusivity, they will grin from ear to ear that you want to give them that. Exclusivity is not a demand you out on someone, it's a gift you give each other.
If you only want a relationship that is going somewhere, then always have exclusivity at least from the second time you have sex. I don't expect a man to commit to me forever after a few months, I do expect him to commit to not looking elsewhere if we're sleeping together. Or, frankly - if we've had 9 dates as you had when you were still saying you'd ask him... 9 dates is enough for me to expect someone to know if they like me enough to 'see where it goes'.
If you've been seeing him since October (not August 
) then that's long enough for him to know if he sees this as potentially long term.
You were snooping for a reason: you know he's online still, you want to be exclusive but you're too scared to ask him because you know already he doesn't want that.
Cut your losses and move on. When you are with the right person, you don't have to manufacture conversations about "where is this going" - it's all there, in normal conversations.