Just wondering how long people have endured it before recognising what's going on? For my part I have been to endless marriage coucellors throughout a 20 year relationship before the penny has finally dropped. I have tried to share responsibility for our relationship, but when my husband said what he said and walked out a couple of weeks ago, it finally dawned on me that when he first hit me 18 years ago, he only ever meant to shut me up and to hurt me. When he calls me a cunt, he means it. My dd has suffered enormously, and finally I have told the appropriate people what is going on. I don't know what is going to happen next. We have an appointment with the child psychiatrist in a couple of weeks and I have told her that I think my husband does not like women. For the record, he thinks his daughter's husband is probably not very nice to her.