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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you know its over?

8 replies

Nafnaf · 08/03/2016 21:43

I've been with my dh for 4 years, married for 2 and have 1 dc and 2dsc from his first marriage.

Recently (last 6 months) I've been feeling like I don't want to be married anymore. I don't know if this is a "normal" phase marriages go through, or because I genuinely don't want to be with him anymore.

Can anyone offer support/ advice / guidance from their experiences about marriage and relationships?

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 09/03/2016 08:13

I knew my marriage was over, when I just didn't care. They could have gone off, had an affair or won the lottery & I just wouldn't have been bothered. To go through all you guys have, in 4 years is a lot.

bitchingtwitching · 09/03/2016 15:25

When I felt like that, it was because I didn't want to be married to him anymore. Like TheNaze73 I wouldn't have cared if he had gone off with someone else etc, in fact I would have been pleased. We are apart now and it was the right decision.

goddessofsmallthings · 09/03/2016 16:15

What is it about your relationship with your h that makes you feel you "don't want to be married anymore"?

AmserGwin · 09/03/2016 17:00

When even the way he breathes annoys you

Pinkheart5915 · 09/03/2016 17:05

Did something happen 6 months ago to make you feel like you don't want to be married?
Have you spoke to your husband ?
Is it possible you feel stuck in a rut? Do you and your partner still go out and things?
I am married and I've never had a I don't want to be married phase, but that doesn't mean I won't.

Clg199 · 09/03/2016 17:12

I'd had a few thoughts of 'would it be better if I left?' But there were always reasons why this wouldn't work - families, dogs, finances etc (thankfully no children).

One day my drive to leave was bigger than all of these things and I thought 'sod it, I'm going'. Best decision I've ever made.

Kissesgingers · 09/03/2016 18:12

I was told on Monday divorce would be a good idea. He's sat on the sofa almost constantly since, I think he thought he'd get a pick me dance, instead he got practical information about custody, mediation and mesher orders. Still don't think it's over but I'm darned well not pandering to this mega paddy. Oh, no supporting evidence for why from him as yet.

Custardcreamssummerdreams · 09/03/2016 18:34

Same as naze, when you don't care anymore.

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