I need a boost and support

[hurtwife]

For those of you haved read my threads before sorry. My h has left me with 4 kids. It has been a long drawn out parting. He had an affair i was not prepared to call it a day and kick him out he left in october and then had a change of heart and said he wanted to make a go of it. I thought great lets back on track but was nervous and distrustful. With my gaurd up we went to counselling and i have tried to trust again. He has continued with the lies and now that it is 'convienient' has left.
My head says i should be glad for all the reasons that i am sure you are going to point out to me. But it hurts so much and i need reasurance that i will move forward and there is a life for me out there. My self esteem is at an all time low. i feel like a crap mum and i am only just managing to get through the day. The only thing that makes me smile is the thought of revenge, and i feel sick to think that there is someone else he cares for.
How the hell do i pick myself up and go out there and regain my life. I feel i am boring and have nothing that anyone would be vaguly interested in (except him and the kids) We have been togetheer for 20 years and i am only 41 now so that is nearly all my adult life.
I know i am attractive and look good for my age but as a person i feel so boring.
Any suggestions for how to make new friends and get some new interests.
I will probably up half the night reading this so hopefully someone will reply.

oh hurtwife, you have been through a lot. No wonder your self-esteem has taken a bashing. Most peoples would have.

You will get over this though. There will be a rough ride in the short term, but one day you will wake up and find you don't feel as bad.

That will give you the strength to get on out there and meet different people and get back to enjoying life.

Meeting new people can come from any interests you might have. You might feel like doing a course of some sort or are there any clubs nearby that meet up that interest you. How old are the kids. Can you meet other mums through them?

I reckon that thinking of revenge is only going to eat you up. If there is no going back with your h then try as best as you can to let go.

Get over him, he is not worth you wasting your time thinking of him/plotting revenge or whatever. It's his loss that he has let you go.

For the very short term, concentrate on your good points. I'm sure you have many. Remind yourself how lucky you are with the things you do have. Tell yourself you deserve to be happy. Squeeze everything you can out of every little positive until gradually you change your way of thinking so that it is natural to be upbeat. This could be the start of something so much better for you.