Why does my girlfriend wants me to take time to figure out what I want in our relationship but then gets upset when I don't contact her ?

[Lash123]

Well..... I put my question in the topic. Just wondering if anyone can give me some feedback about this. I was supposed to think about what my relationship deal breakers are, what I want out of our relationship .... that kind of thing. I was under the impression time was needed to figure this out, now I received a text suggesting that the fact I hadn't called or messaged her today was a sign that I really don't value her or our relationship. I'm confused so please help :)

or eating pie & mash or whatever the fuck it was called

Hi again and thank you so much for all the feedback !

Yes the OP was pretty damn vague and where the hell is he anyway ?! 😉..... Kind of funny but I didn't even realize until this morning that this is a UK site. Last night I had a hard time falling asleep so googled relationship web pages and mums net seemed to have a lot of activity so joined. I live in Ontario Canada so with the time difference had been sleeping while replies came in.

I wish I was young as someone had mentioned and maybe I should know better at this age and maybe if I did I might still be married .... just kidding about the married part, as I'm happily divorced.

Me .... 51 with 3 children ages 12 to 16
Her..... 38 with 3 children ages 5 to 16
Us....... dating for a year and a half

On that note I have to head out.... bringing my 14 year old to our famous pastime ( hockey ) for a play-off game in London ( not quite as grand as your London ...lol but it will have to do 😉 ) as I'm very involved in the lives of my children.... as all single dads should be.

Thanks again for the responses and I'll check back later. Have a great day !!

OK Lash, when you get back could you answer my question as to why you think your partner has made these silly requests to you? I am just interested in what made her think that you need to 'think about your relationship', it all sounds a bit like when you tell a child to go to the naughty step and think about their behaviour.

Enjoy the Hockey. :)

Thing is, Lash, it's one thing to date when you are both single parents, but quite another thing to try to 'blend' that arrangement into one family - which is probably what you and she are having to face up to thinking about?

I'm in a similar situation, for what it's worth. Similar ages, just slightly older.

Well, I don't see evidence of any blending. If she is waiting on a text for contact then they don't live together so how could the children be 'blended'

OP, please answer the following questions

What are her deal breakers?
What is that she wants you to do, or not do, or do differently?
And, is this going to be a big struggle for you?
Are you / were you happy?
Are her deal breakers reasonable do you think?
If she has asked you direct questions, have you answered them fully and honestly? I am getting the slightest hunch that you might obfuscate somewhat when faced with direct questions. That might be unfair though.

In the future, Mags.