i have no-one to talk to

[Dizzywizz]

And it makes me sad. That is all

That's what this site is for, if you'd like to talk here.

Thanks Liney

I talk about loads of stuff on here, the good and the sad.

Can't talk to dh, he just won't discuss anything and if I manage to say something, he gets annoyed and turns it around on me. Doesn't seem bothered if I cry. What's the point if you can't even talk? And no close friends to talk to either. Sorry I will just have a bit of a pitty party here.

Have you been together long? Children?

I used to be very lonely in my marriage a lit of the time.

*lot

Together 17 years, married 6, 2 young children. Are you no longer married or no longer lonely?

No later never married. ExH left me and our very young DCs for OW. And then he left her...

Meanwhile I had the most enormous struggle being a single working parent. I wish I'd had MN back then, 14 years ago. But I got through it.

• No longer married

Sorry for the nonsense typos!

You have people to talk to now. Please don't be sad x

Is your husband verbally abusive often?

It's great having MN, where you can just logon and say hi. I'm sorry you had such a struggle Liney.

Marchate is that verbally abusive? He said I do stupid things which I do, but I get confused (I am not very well) and I was just sharing that I get lost in my head and when I told him that earlier he just talked about something else, but he said I was saying he didn't care about me but I'm sure I didn't say that, but actually if I did say that shouldn't he say he does care? But maybe I am turning things on him, I feel so angry at him a lot cos he's never here, he's always at work (runs own business) which I know he is doing for us as a family...

I'm sorry you're not well. Are you seeing your GP?

Your husband shouldn't be using the word stupid when talking to you. That's out of order.

It sounds unkind, if nothing else. Would you be kind enough to tell me -

Do you feel confused when he tells you something you have said or done, because you think you didn't say or do it?

Does he shout when he gets annoyed, or is he quiet with a smile/smirk on his face?

When you cry, what does he say or do that makes you think he doesn't care?

What kind of stupid things does he say you do?

Sorry to sound like 20 questions! I'm trying to think if there are any threads or sites that might help. And I don't want to jump to conclusions about your relationship

Liney, thank you for your message - it's a long term condition so I see a neurologist and have treatment in hospital. The thing is - I do do stupid things - I've always been someone who acts/talks without thinking it through, and then I I will realise after that I shouldn't have done it that way but no, it's not a nice word to use - I wouldn't tell one of my children they had done something stupid. Maybe that's a tact to try, I should ask him if he would speak to the children in that way.

That's ok Marchate, just greatful for the responses.

So in answer-

Yes, I get confused as I think I didn't do or say it
He is quiet - sometimes with a bit of a smirk which I hate, but normally just looking annoyed
He does nothing when I cry. But that's always been the case. His family do not show emotion - from a different culture to me - they never hug on greeting like my family or kiss, just very formal. I have NEVER seen his parents hug or kiss him, ever. I think he just does not know what to do when I show emotion, and I am a very emotional person. I also have depression and anxiety issues.
Oh it's stupid things like last night I starter filling in the childrens passport form when I'd had a drink and the light was poor, so I went outside the boxes and now I need to get a new form. That was last nights example.

Thank you for your message. Sorry I fell asleep last night.

Those passport forms are an absolute bugger to fill in at the best of times.

Did your husband not volunteer to do it?

Thanks Dizzywizz. Have a look at these links and see if you recognise any traits

the-courage-to-heal.tumblr.com/post/96599780964/the-water-torturers-can-assault-his-partner

cryingoutforjustice.com/2013/02/25/gaslighting/

Liney he didn't as we were having a drink and the light was not clear, on reflection i had picked a strange time to do it.

I'll have a look at those links Marchate, thank you for taking the time to do that.

Okay, gas lighting...yes I definitely recognise this, I would say on a small scale but then tbh we don't talk a lot as he works so much!