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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

ExH looking at escorts online

9 replies

Snowwhite30 · 04/03/2016 23:25

1st time poster please b gentle. Last night I used my husbands fone (now xh) to search the Internet.
When I typed into the search bar the history came up and I could see he had been looking up escorts in the local area.
I messaged him today to say our marriage is ovr...he done the same thing back in Dec.
I have received a barrage of messages saying that I'm over reacting and promising to do what it takes to make all ok.
Brief backstory things have been quite stale for a good few months and he claims he looked at pics because he was frustrated!!
What do you wise mumsnetters think....would this b a deal breaker?
Thank you for reading

OP posts:
Baconyum · 04/03/2016 23:27

He won't have been 'just looking' bin, get thee to sti clinic asap. Sorry you're having to go through this Flowers

StrongerSingle · 04/03/2016 23:30

I'm pretty broad minded so wouldn't bother me. It is possible he was just looking at the pics. I would imagine a high percentage of men look at those sites but don't go on to meet anyone.

Joysmum · 04/03/2016 23:32

Ah so you're not aloud to have normal feelings without being told you're 'overreacting' Hmm

Good for you OP. He'd have known from before a line was crossed but felt entitled because of his 'frustration'. No doubt you've not been happy either but you've not trampled over his feelings and boundaries have you.

Original poster
Snowwhite30 · 04/03/2016 23:57

Thank you all for your replies...I have read threads like this on here multiple times but it is very hard when your in this situation yourself and don't have anyone in real life to talk to
Thanks again

OP posts:
WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 05/03/2016 10:06

What did he promise back in December when you found out he'd been doing the same?

Allnamesaretakenffs · 05/03/2016 10:15

If he's done it once, and has now done it again...that'd be a deal breaker for me, because I'd always be wondering what he'd been up to, always paranoid about his intentions, did I need an STI check, etc etc...

Marilynsbigsister · 05/03/2016 10:20

Why have things been 'a bit stale' OP ? . You make it sound like you are bored with him. I might of read that wrong, but you say 'stale' and his excuse is 'frustration' which makes it sound like he is willing but you are not. If this is the case, then surely this is the perfect catalyst to LTB.

Changedname16 · 05/03/2016 10:21

StIs are highly unlikely. Don't worry about that.

Offred · 05/03/2016 10:40

I always wonder what people are thinking when they encourage people not to get STI tests in situations like this...

If you have multiple sexual partners it is wise to get tested regularly. If your partner has had sex with someone else it is wise to get tested regularly.

STIs are not unlikely for anyone who has sex with multiple partners, in fact they are reasonably likely for anyone who has any sex and doesn't get tested.

Getting tested is always sensible for a sexually active person.

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