Husband is a total S..... /Financial Spreadsheet - help anyone?

[Mumski]

I posted before Christmas as I found out my husband was having an affair. Took him back and stupidly thought we were getting somewhere, only find out last week he started seeing her again two months ago. Am absolutly devistated and not making much sense. However I have some friends being v. tough for me. I'm seeing a solicitor on Friday and I remember on a previous thread one of you had a financial spread sheet for all the items you need to take into account when sorting out maintainance etc. Can anyone point me to where it might be or resend it. Thanks for any help.

Not sure where this is but look on ondivorce.co.uk - print of the finacial statement form and fill that in to and give that to solicitor - will save a load of hassle in the end.

Hello, I have one - e-mailed it to a couple of people last year - contact me via another talker and I'll e-mail it to you - if I can find it. It pretty much covers EVERYTHING you could ever think of. Your solicitor would probably provide you with a hard copy - a friend entered it into Excel for me. Sorry he's been such a git.

Can't find it at the moment - hopefully Bugsy will see this as I sent her a copy. Will carry on looking.

Hi Sykes
thanks for this. It's like history repeating it's self isn't it. You were so supportive last time!!!
will contact you later.
many thanks. Must pick up girls from school....
how are you?
Thanks too Twinkie

Hi, Mumski, I'm really well at the moment. Am so sorrry he's been such a twat. Hope your girls are okay and that you have friends around to help you.

Mumski, sorry to hear your sad news. Was Sykes able to find the document for you?

Bugsy, not yet - could you send it? Sorry - hope Friday is VERY good.

Mumski - just a thought on this which might help. when you put the costs in make sure you don't underestimate anything (sounds obvious but its really easy to forget bits and pieces which add up to quite a lot. Also if you and your husband can agree on most of the financial stuff when you've seen the solicitor so you have a good idea of whats reaonable, you will save yourself quite a lot of money. Another thing I found out is that if you divorce for adultery the husband is sort of expected to foot the costs (although they don't have to - its a bit woolly). I found it very hard going through all the finances - but I'm glad I did! I'm really sorry thats where you're at, but it does get better

Mumski, just got your e-mail. Am looking again for the spread sheet. Am sure Bugsy will still have it as she's much more organised than me. My solicitor advised me to see a mediator with h if at all possible - cheaper, she advised, than a solicitor. If you can't bear to be in the same room a mediator can still help. She also advised not naming and shaming, can't remember why now and that's up to you anyway. She's a brilliant solicitor if you need one - in Holborn, London.

Thanks Sykes and gettingthere. I don't do finance and the thought of trying to sort it all... well I keep putting it off. But I know I need to do it and make sure I'm not being ripped off!

Mumski, your solicitor will probably give you all the stuff you need anyway. I hope you have a productive meeting. Make sure you get the solicitor to send you a "note" of the meeting as you will never remember everything you hear.

Remember pension if he is paying into one

My solicitor advised me to take photocopies of anything and everything - credit card statements, pay slips, any bonus schemes at work, etc, etc. Sounds sneaky and I didn't do it (not because I didn't approve - was too zombie like at the time) but think it's advisable - have as much info as possible.

Message withdrawn

Can't find it - will ask my friend who put it onto Excel if he still has it.

Thanks Sykes and everyone. Seeing Solicitor at 12 today - feel sick as it feels like the begining of the end of our marriage - arrrrrgh. But the being of my new life as my friend Polly Anna said this morning!
photocopier is red hot copying pay slips etc

Message withdrawn