dating confusion

[Tigger2016]

Met a man online went on three dates really liked him. Then he said that meeting me made him realise he wasn't ready for a relationship. AT ALL.

Thoughts?

Can't decide if it's an insult or not

How do you know when you're 'ready for dating'?

Not taking it so seriously? Not feeling like you're committed to a guy after 3 dates so that looking for other dates feels like cheating?

Spanner in the works?

He has aspergers ..,,,,,

What's that got to do with anything?

He mirrors someone that I was dating a couple of years back. And he was someone who didn't want to couldn't commit yet was on a dating site.

It was more drama than it was worth. He used to remind constantly that he wasn't 'normal', as if some sort of excuse for his behaviour. And I'm pretty sure he mentioned having Aspergers, too. He still lived with his mum, although I'm not sure that's relevant.

Anyway, things were okay for a while until he decided they weren't and he used to mention hugs, a lot, too. We never dtd, thank goodness, looking back..

Then a year later, out of the blue, he messaged me asking if I wanted a three-dimensional

Food for thought

Vincenoir

You don't think that the fact he has Aspergers may be relevant??

Really? He has Aspergers and has problems with empathy/attachment?? Well colour me surprised

I have in the past had this reaction to dating.
Meet someone. Get on great. Start the texting marathon. Then the midweek invites. The awkward excuses purely to avoid offending as a result of really just wanting to have a bit of quiet time after a busy day. And finally the realisation that I was happier on my own and it was creating unnecessary stress for us both. It happens.

Well, to be fair he managed to get married so if he has ASD - and that's not certain from the OP's comment, could mean he's just thrown in "oh I suppose I could be a bit (undiagnosed and no idea what it really is) Aspergers" - he's managed some form of attachment in the past.

And he's happy enough to potentially keep the OP dangling on a string with this "hug buddies" thing which isn't exactly avoiding emotional attachment!

Anyway, ASD or not, whatever his intentions, whether this comes from his behaviour or hers - if OP feels like she's being unfaithful to a man she had just 3 dates with because they are meeting up a lot of hugging, then she needs to cut him out and move on.

Friendships are lovely, but not ones where the two people want different things from it.

Update

Told him I want and deserve more.
He agreed but can't give it says wish he could.

Guess that's the end then
Feel pants