what do you make of this?

[AugustMoon]

Sunday night we were with friends having a drink. I got quite drunk then went to bed and took a sleeping tablet. Woke up in the morning naked. I know what had happened - its happened before.
Later on H says "had a good shag last night" I say "really? I dont remember" he says "you were well into it but then suddenly said "stop now'" I asked him was that because i regained consciousness - in a bit of a sarcy way - and does it not bother him that I dont remember. He said no, as long as he remembers thats all that matters to him.
I have been feeling VERY depressed and having intrusive thoughts iyswim, since then. Is it linked?
Why cant I leave this fucking marriage?

So you know what happened. Why can't you leave?

Oh dear, that is really awful. Why do you feel you can't leave?

He had sex when you were incapable of consenting and he doesn't care. He's an unrepentant rapist. I'm sorry

It's rape

So, yes, I'd say your intrusive thoughts etc are linked

Costa I have no money and no bank account. I am in a foreign country with a tourist visa. I can't afford to take my children home. I cant leave them. I have nowhere to go here.

That's awful - can you get any consulate help? Is it his home country?