Hi everyone,
I have been with DH for 30 years, married for 25. I have been unhappy in my marriage for a number of years now but I don't know if things are bad enough to leave. I have been going to Counselling for the past year and it has helped me greatly e.g. dealt with my depression, alcohol/food issues, working on myself etc. I will list all DH's good points and bad points below ... would you mind taking the time to read and honestly say if you would be happy to continue in a marriage like mine?
The good bits:
Hard working
Family man
Devoted to our children
Would do anything for us
Kind, caring, decent, generous, quiet, sensitive, sensible, honest
Helps out with housework, does all the DIY
Very good to my elderly parents, including the rest of my family
Doesn't go out, drink to access, gamble or look at other women
The not so good bits:
He never tells me he loves me
He never kisses me or holds me, no hugs/cuddles or holding my hand
Doesn't seem to appreciate me
He doesn't know how to treat me well, no nice birthday treats, presents, nights out, weekends away etc.
He never compliments me or tells me I look nice
He never praises my cooking
He withholds affection, love, words of comfort, physical contact
Sex has dwindled to a few times a year (I have to initiate it)
When we do have sex, it is just going through the motions, no passion
He doesn't make me feel bad about myself but he doesn't make me feel particularly good about myself either!
I have lost five stone in the last 18 months and he hasn't even acknowledged it / or said I look good (other men have noticed!).
I don't know what to do. I don't know if I love him anymore and I'm not sure if he loves me either. I'm not desperate to end our marriage and I would feel quite selfish if I did but I don't know how long more I can live in a loveless (and sexless) marriage.