we are moving to a refuge

[freedom100]

Hi I am 23 years old with two children. After experiencing severe domestic violence from the father of my children AGAIN even though social services deemed him safe to be having contact with the children and told me to resume their contact.. I have decided to flee. Women's aid have found me a refuge, it's a 2 hour drive from where we live now ( I asked for it to be far away) I am so happy that I know I'm going to be getting away but also terrified! I have so many worries and questions. What happens to my council house and all my stuff as I can't take it with me? What about my two dogs? What can I take and what support is there for me and the children? Does anyone have experience of being in a refuge? Will they help me get housed closer to where I used to live when I'm ready to leave? So I'm not so far from my family in the end? I will have my own flat with my own kitchen and bathroom and 2 bedrooms ... Will it take long to get my 6 year old into a school?? So much to do so little time. They want me to go tomorrow . Any advice welcome please xxxxxx

Cry away - it's the relief and the weight that has been lifted from you.
You deserve your chance a good and abuse free life!
I really do wish you well. You sound strong so I've no doubt you will make this work for you now!

Wishing you a beautiful new life filled with happiness X

When my friend moved into refuge she was helped to put any furniture she had in storage until she was rehoused. She got support with everything every step of the way.
Good luck op here's to a happy future for you and your dc

Also PM-ing you about dogs OP - like Flora I have contacts in doggy world through fostering myself & I'm sure between us we can get the poor souls a place while you get sorted. I'd offer to have myself but am limited on space with 2 gert lumps of my own!

COngratulations on the beginning of the rest of your life-

Good luck op. There are breed specific charities/groups - have a look on Facebook see if any could help

Hi does anyone know where I find my messages? I'm new to this app and I can't find them lol xxx

Look at the top of the page and click in the my mums net icon.
Good luck with your new start

It's the blue circle with the outline of person freedom

When there's a message there will be a red [envelope?] on it. Something red, anyway.

Sorry your going through this but at least you and your children will be safe.

I don't know what sexes your children or where you will be living but I have girls ranging from 1-13 so happy to pass on any clothes etc if your close by or would be happy to send you a parcel xxx

hi freedom100 . well done on making this really brave decision. just wanted to say that I was in refuge with my DD for 6 months when I was around the same age as yourself. It was the best thing I ever did. I will always remember the taxi dropping us off with all the bags I managed to squeeze in and my key worker greeting me, it was such a relief, she believed me. Refuge gave us a break from life, the urgency of having to make decisions was put on hold and I felt safe and supported. It wasn't always easy having to live with other women and families but we all gave each other strength and was an experience that I will never forget. Your key worker will help you sort benefits etc when you're there. I'd advice to not take too much but just the essentials - paper work, passports, valuable and sentimental items. Your kids favourite toys. The other stuff can be sorted later. You can be rehoused wherever you want but if you want to relocate out of the refuge area you may need to arrange this more yourself. I moved from a refuge to another in a different city before opting for private rental. Have you looked up dog fostering services? Really good luck to you and your family, embrace it and your new life xxx

ffs op do not give your address to anyone as it may be your ex pretending to be someone nice.

When I was teaching, we had children come through the class for a day or a week or two at a time from the local refuge. they all had the same postal address as we were not to know where they lived.

(also fled an ex but thankfully did not need to go to a refuge)

I haven't given anyone my address. :)

I hope no one's asked you to be that specific OP, general area to match you up with a rescue should be all that's necessary. I haven't had much response as yet, did pm you again asking about breed because there are a couple of breed specific ones which might be worth a try depending on what type of dogs you have. You have some rescue centres near you but it would mean your dogs being kept in a kennels environment rather than a foster home which I appreciate you would probably rather avoid. That may be your only option though if nothing better comes through, let me know if you would be willing to consider that and I'll see what I can do. I am still trying but most places are still struggling for spaces from the post-Christmas deluge of unwanted dogs

As I understand it, you're hoping that you'll be rehoused from the refuge close to where you 'used to live', OP. By this, do you mean the area you're currently living in or a location miles away that you used to live in?

My concern is that if you cannot be safe in your current home with the help of the police and increased security measures such as secure door/window locks, outiside lighting, panic button etc, and a non-molestsation order that gives the police power of arrest if your ex comes near you, he may seek you out in your new home and you'd have it all to do again.