So I lost my job and my hubsand within a week. I'm doing ok... until the evenings

[honestjoan]

I'm relieved about DH - he had an affair three years ago, I took him back, he did it again, so I told him to leave. I feel a weight has been lifted without him.

The job is more concerning and the timing could have been better but hopefully I'll sort it.

It's just I have this overwhelming feeling that I've been missing out on so much of life and now is my second chance to do something about it. I spent three years investing all my energy into trying to fathom DHs affair and whether it had stopped. Now we are over I just want to focus on me for a bit. But with two young children with me full time, I can't. I've been the grown up for so long and now I just want to find some joy in life. I am basically bored, and frustrated.

And I can't stop thinking about sex. I mean literally all the time. I got asked on very rare night out a few weeks ago and he is gorgeous and it reminded me I'm not the invisible harridan DH would have me believe. But I had to get back to real life (unlike DH) and christ it's just hard at times. I'm smoking and drinking too much in the evenings because it feels like it's the only thing I can do for me.

Does this sound familiar to anyone in the early days of single motherhood? Survival tips?

What a tough time. Two of the most stressful things you can ever go through. Do you have some friend support in RL? Sending
The drinking and smoking is not good though but an understandable reaction (and very common). Try and focus on drinking less and smoking less each day but take it one day at a time.
Someone else will have much better help and advice for you.

thanks Borisrules. I am lucky to have a very good support network around me. It's just the evenings.. they get to me. And i dread bedtime because I don't sleep. I know I'm basically bored (and worried about finances) and I know that a job will fill that void but what I do and where I live are not very compatible so a relocation may be on the cards, too, and it's all too much to deal with so I bury my head in the sand and take it out on fags and booze.

I've started exercising again which is something. As you say, one day at a time.