Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Shoot the messenger... WWYD?

35 replies

Goandplay · 28/02/2016 17:06

At the beginning of DC starting primary school a mum from the class had an affair with another dad in the class. The married couple broke up and the couple got together and have been together ever since.
There is a lot of bitterness from the ex partner and everyone knows in the playground.
Fast forward 6 or so years the couple that got together following the affair have decided to get married and are planning a wedding. The bride to be is obviously excited and you can see the excitement and plans on FB with tags at venues etc.
My friend is close to the ex wife and she has shown text messages from the ex husband (I hope you're all following who is who - feel like a flow chart is needed!) that are at best flirty, at worst the beginning of something more. Ex wife has said she will take revenge when the time comes by sleeping with him and telling the other woman.
I feel bad every time I see how excited the bride to be is, I'm friends with her and the children are all going to be hurt when this happens, obviously IF it happens...
There isn't anything I can do though is there?

OP posts:
Queenbean · 28/02/2016 17:08

It's none of your business, stay out of it and stop involving yourself as you are now

Goandplay · 28/02/2016 17:09

That's what I think. So horrible to watch.

OP posts:
Goandplay · 28/02/2016 17:11

I don't know if I've been unclear, I am definitely not involved. I am friends with the mum as our DC's are friends and my close friends is good friends with ex wife. I did say to my friend when she told me about texts I didn't want to know and wish she hadn't said.
Most definitely not involved other than knowing what is going on.

OP posts:
maxoverload · 28/02/2016 17:13

dont say a word. you will get the shit for saying something. its got nothing to do with you. horrible to watch but it will be worse if you say anything

Goingtobeawesome · 28/02/2016 17:14

Is it the original couple who are flirting or one part each of the two initial couples?

Goandplay · 28/02/2016 17:15

The original married couple.

OP posts:
Goandplay · 28/02/2016 17:17

I suppose it's his thing. So strange as this has literally seems to have come out of nowhere as normally they can't stand each other. So much bad feeling involved. The children have been dragged through it all as well.

OP posts:
FellOutOfBedTwice · 28/02/2016 17:17

I read it as the affair husband is flirting with his ex wife, Going

Not to be needlessly mean, OP, but could this be wishful thinking on the ex wife's part?

Goandplay · 28/02/2016 17:18

That's what I would have thought but my friend saw the texts.

OP posts:
BonitaFangita · 28/02/2016 17:21

This sounds like a very shouty Jeremy Kyle episode. I think the ex wife is playing a very dangerous game and you'd do best to stay out of it.

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 28/02/2016 17:23

Well lots of people would call it karma if thus bloke ends up shagging his ex wife 🙂

Goingtobeawesome · 28/02/2016 17:26

If it was my friend who was the bride to be I would tell her.

lljkk · 28/02/2016 17:28

OP's friend (who shows texts around??) should tell her mate (the x-wife) that X-W is living in the past if she's still obsessed with wreaking revenge on people over a relationship breakdown 6 yrs ago... in other words, to grow up!!

Not much OP can do.

Or maybe they could all make good money going on J'Kyle.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 28/02/2016 17:36

Karma!

TheNaze73 · 28/02/2016 17:46

I'd avoid the ex wife like the plague. Sounds a bit crazy

MardyGrave · 28/02/2016 17:46

Indeed, karma is a bitch.

hownottofuckup · 28/02/2016 17:49

In those circumstances I'd really leave them all to it

Goandplay · 28/02/2016 17:50

She is crackers and a bit scary!

I know nothing should be said but then I think what would I want to happen if it was me planning a wedding or my sister or daughter.

I know the whole family so really can imagine the impact on all of them. Especially the children.

It's making me feel anxious. I need to forget I know.

OP posts:
littleleftie · 28/02/2016 17:54

They all sound as bad as each other!

The bride to be had an affair with a married man. She should know that by marrying him she creates a vacancy.

Agree with PP to keep your head down and say nothing. It's not as if there are any innocent parties here is it, aside from all the children involved.

MardyGrave · 28/02/2016 17:54

Honestly, infidelity doesn't seem to bother the bride to be. Or this bloke, quite the catch.

Leave it be and don't get involved, no one will thank you.

lunar1 · 28/02/2016 17:54

In with those that say karma's a bitch! All the excited wedding planning has only come about because she helped cause massive damage to the ex wife. Who really cares if the same happens to her.

Goingtobeawesome · 28/02/2016 19:51

I don't get it. You're all talking about innocent children. How is saying nothing better than them going through another divorce which is possible?

QuiteLikely5 · 28/02/2016 20:42

This is tricky!

What do the texts say?

Is he outright asking to sleep with her or something similar?

longdiling · 28/02/2016 20:52

Ooh interesting. A similar situation happened at my kids school. I would struggle to have sympathy with any of the involved parties and, to be honest, there is no saving the kids from future pain when you're dealing with these kinds of people. If you tell the bride to be and she decides not to go ahead with the wedding they'll be hurt anyway.

goddessofsmallthings · 28/02/2016 20:54

Sit back and watch the show. You may have some idea of the plot, but you don't yet know the ending.

Swipe left for the next trending thread