I am 23 and was living with a DP (we had been together for around 9 months before moved into together and living together for 6 months).
We never should have moved into together - we had different expectations and it caused constant rows. He wanted to go out with friends/stay over at theirs several nights a week etc (he was a freelance journalist) whereas I work in HR and have more stable job and was hoping when we moved in together we would have a more routine lifestyle. I never minded him going out and have my own busy life but I thought we would have lots of time together too in our new home.
Anyway, it wasn't like that and we rowed a lot. So I did something very very stupid, I went out for a drink with an old friend and we ended up sharing a kiss. It was honestly very brief and I was drunk but I know that doesn't make it ok. I told DP and we split up. The thing I am struggling with is I now hate myself. I have taken full responsibility for it, told ex-DP I know there is no excuse and that it wasn't an ok way to deal with our relationship issues. I am mostly over the break up but I am so disappointed in myself for cheating and being that way and I just can't forgive myself.
What should I do? A big part of me feels I don't deserve forgiveness from myself or anyone else and this is my punishment.