I have posted before about H who has spied on me and been generally emotionally abusive, manipulative and controlling. Everyone said LTB but I guess everyone has to do it at their own pace, to face the fact that their "other half" isn't the other half of their puzzle after all. I didn't want to give up then, but it's not taken long with me standing up for myself for the cracks to become fucking obvious. He blames me. He blames my lack of warmth, the fact that I haven't given him enough affection, support, been tactile enough, had sex enough. Apparently if I'd done that, we'd have been fine. 
boggle. It made me realise he doesn't actually know (or care?) who I am. He doesn't listen to me, or believe anything I say. Not truly. And it makes my life feel like a sick-inducing nightmare, where I'm going slightly mad and everything is an illusion.
So, Once I realised what was really going on, and gave him umpteen chances to prove it wasn't, that he understood, that he got it, that he'd try to change, that he'd actually not just try but really change, of course he hasn't changed. So we're getting divorced. The house is for sale, the DCs will have to be told, life will change from a once apparently rosy perfect life to being divorced fuck-ups. I am so unspeakably angry. But apparently that's not ok either.
The difficult bit is that despite everything, I hate seeing him hurt. I don't want anything unfair. I just want what is best for all. Please tell me this gets better and I'm doing the right thing for all of us. It's bloody lonely here at the moment.